Daring to dream

At 20, Ritu (not her real name) is determined to break free from her past and rewrite her life's narrative.

After spending a decade in the Bangladesh National Women Lawyers Association (BNWLA) safe home -- a haven for survivors of gender-based violence, including rape, trafficking and domestic abuse -- Ritu now wants to become self-reliant.

She wants her dream of becoming a nurse to come true.

"Becoming a nurse has always been my dream -- a dream my mother and I shared," said Ritu, whose mother used to work as a hospital attendant.

However, before Ritu had learned to dream, she had her childhood shattered at the age of 10, when her own father raped her.

"It was overwhelming to accept that something so unimaginable had happened to me -- and even worse, that it was my own father who had done it," she said as her voice trembled.

The incident happened one night in 2014 when Ritu's mother was working the night shift at the hospital. When she returned home, Ritu gathered the courage to tell her what her father did.

"I still remember the day my mother decided to leave our house for good. She took me and my younger brother to my maternal uncle's home. From there, she started our fight for justice.

"My mother believed me when no one else did and showed incredible strength by filing a case against my father at the local police station."

A forensic examination provided irrefutable evidence, confirming Ritu's account and setting the wheels of justice in motion.

But the ordeal didn't end there. "My father kept relentlessly searching for me, telling everyone I was lying, and even beating my mother when he couldn't find me," she recalled.

Eventually, Ritu was placed in the BNWLA safe home where she received years of psychological counselling and 

resumed her education.

"I was told I'd only stay here for a month. But one month turned into six, and then a decade. This place became my home."

Consumed by the fears for her safety and of judgment from others, it took her years to begin her schooling again. "My life had barely begun, but all I wanted was for it to end. I kept asking, 'Why me?'"

Her encounters with the justice system only deepened her trauma. "When I was questioned at the police station, I felt so embarrassed. I didn't even understand what a court was or why people went there. But I had no choice -- I had to relive that horrific moment over and over in front of strangers.

"In court, they questioned me so harshly, as if I was lying. I felt nervous, threatened, and completely defeated. Once, they even said I was making it all up. I wanted to give up…. I hated myself and wanted to get away from it all. But for the sake of justice, I had no choice but to keep enduring the same unbearable trauma."

During this time, Ritu's mother was forced to leave her maternal uncle's home as threats from her father escalated. He relentlessly harassed and beat her, ultimately forcing her to quit her job.

Struggling to survive, Ritu's mother began selling flowers and later worked as a day labourer.

A year after moving to the safe home, Ritu lost contact with her mother.

"She started suffering from psychological issues and hasn't been in regular contact with me since then. She had to leave my younger brother with my father, and we lost communication," Ritu said.

Ritu later found her mother, whose psychological condition prevented her from further pursuing the case. The last time they met was over two years ago and last they spoke was around two months ago.

Despite repeated attempts, Ritu's lawyer could not be reached for comment. However, according to the Bangladesh Mahila Lawyers Association, the case remains at the evidence-gathering stage. Progress has stalled as Ritu's mother continues to be absent from court proceedings.

BNWLA lawyer Fahmida Akhter informed this correspondent that when a plaintiff misses several court dates in a row, the court typically acquits the accused.

In 2018, Ritu was granted self-custody due to her mother's condition. However, she remains in the shelter as she has nowhere else to go. "If I leave, I'd end up on the streets like my mother."

Ritu passed her SSC exams this year and is now focused on pursuing nursing.

"I've always wanted to help people, but more than anything, I want to support my mother and give her the life she deserves.

"Worrying about my safety and future, my mother has become mentally unstable and now lives on the streets. For her sake, I need to quickly become self-sufficient…. That's why, I've decided to get into a paramedical nursing course to start working as soon as possible. I'll also continue my HSC and later pursue a full nursing degree," she said.

With no family or friends to support her, Ritu's only hope is BNWLA.

Advocate Salma Ali, president of BNWLA, said that despite financial challenges, they are trying to secure Ritu's admission to a nursing institution, where she can enroll in a paramedical nursing course.

Over the years, Ritu's resilience won everyone's heart at the safe home.

Its admin officer and house mother said, "Ritu's determination is extraordinary. She is focused on becoming self-reliant and supporting her mother. I'm confident she'll go far."