B,CB chief angry as team failed to prepare to fail

The chief of Board, Cricket Board (B,CB) was reportedly livid after the national team went to the Middle East and won both matches against lower-ranked opposition.  

The Team beat United Dictatorships of Sandyland (UDS) in two T20Is that were supposed to be preparation for this month's T20 World Cup in Australia.

"Listen, I believe in preparing properly. I said earlier that they [the Team] would go to Australia as part of a study tour, to get learnings for the next T20 World Cup," B,CB President Kamrul Kaman Phappa told reporters during a press conference in his bedroom.

"You have heard of the old adage, 'You learn more from defeats than you do from victories'. I have a long-term vision. Our team will lose so much, day in day out, home and abroad, in Tests, ODIs and T20Is, that one day they will become the most wisdomous cricket team in the world.

"Then, you will see, this team will be world champions. That is also what Jamshed Mahmud Hahaha meant when he said we can be world champions," Phapa said.

The Team went to UDS and almost succeeded in losing their first match against a team that rarely plays top-class opposition. UDS's lack of exposure to non-top-class opposition continued with the series against the Team.

But in the second match, the Team beat UDS by a handy margin, and this is what infuriated Phappa.

"We sent them there for a confidence boost, so that they learn that no matter how inexperienced the opposition, they can still lose. But okhantay, they ended up winning 2-0. What is the use in sending them business class to a country if they are only going to win. I admit that they tried hard to fail in the first match. But it was a shameful display in the second game.

"I have worked so hard to not work hard, so that the Team can gain valuable knowledge from losing. I have instructed groundsmen to prepare poor pitches, I have ensured that there is absolutely no development in domestic cricket, and this mostly works. The Team loses most of the time.

"If there is one thing I can't stand, it is winning. It gives me sleepless nights," Phappa said, switched off the bedside lamp and went to sleep to the white noise of the hum of cameras and murmurs of reporters.