Satire writer shunned after 2- week gap in publication

A writer for this page lost his girlfriend, was shunned by his family and lost his job, all because there was no publication of this page for two weeks.  

This was not because people were missing the satire page, oh no, but because Rasel, the writer, was constantly spouting satire ideas even when people were being serious with him. It was learnt that this habit intensified on Tuesdays and Wednesdays as the Thursday deadline for submissions loomed.

He was supposed to send in an article this week, to be used in this space, but said he has exhausted all his ideas, and because of their repercussions, is taking an indefinite break from satire.

The publication of this page was halted for two weeks because of Pahela Baishakh and the Eid holidays the following weekend.

"I was just complaining to him about a friend of mine who kept showing her privilege on social media, and he looked at me and blurted out 'Privileged woman complaining about others' privileges'," his girlfriend said. She also complained about many other such instances, including saying "Woman gets distracted by shopping app while complaining of expenses".

He has also alienated his family in similar fashion. 

His sister had called to ask their mother where she had kept the achar in her own flat, before she was able to find it on her own, and Rasel overheard the conversation.

"I could hear Rasel laughing loudly in the background and saying '30-year-old married woman finally able to find her own nose without the help of her mother'," said Rasel's sister. "This set off a fight between all three of us, and now we are not on talking terms."

Finally, he lost his job too.

After a meeting at his company, where all the bosses were present, had finally ended after one and a half hours, Rasel, who had reportedly stayed silent throughout, blurted out: "Meetings are like Las Vegas: what happens here stays here… you guys get it? None of what is discussed here ever gets implemented! Hahaha…"

While we may not really miss him, we may be using some of his ideas in the coming weeks.