Satireday
Satire / BBA student gets married, calls it the best networking experience of his life
Nothing is impossible – if you believe in your ability to make the right connections, that is.
Satire / iPhone 16 users claim biggest feature is a scam
The iPhone 16 series launched a couple of weeks ago, coinciding with a sudden rise in online ads by people selling human kidneys.
Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control
In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn’t matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.
Holy League unveils new leftist wing
“We represent the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the majority of Bangladesh. Our policies, philosophies and ideals are all BLESSED. You must understand this,” he yelled at the crowd.
A tale from the future: Ordinary students celebrate lynching 100th person
The year is 2028. Ordinary students have done something extraordinary yet again. Yesterday, they organised “Lunch for Lynching” to celebrate beating a hundred people to death since the “lucky seventh independence”.
Satire / ‘Natok Kom Koro Pio’
“Natok kom koro Pio,” the man said, his white beard shaking with fury.
Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission
When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.
Satire / Nation struggles with newfound freedom of speech
Who would have thought? From the yoke of authoritarianism, where everything you said had to be checked for the presence of words that could anger the powers that be, today, Bangladeshis can say whatever they want to.
Obsessed with rainbows, ex-faculty member slapped with restraining order
When the former part-time lecturer of Crack University was let go last year for his discriminatory language and actions, he was at a loss. Why had the university dismissed him for tearing up a book as an educator?
The Cancelling
The TV hummed slowly, filling the room with a soothing sound. Almost acting like a form of white noise.
Tyrant wakes up after 15 years, becomes good person
A tyrant who was on a drip of liquefied sleeping pills for the last 15 years because another tyrant had usurped him, woke up on August 7 and became a good person.
Mob, desperate for old normal, assaults doomsday scientists
A group of scientists were beaten up by a holiday mob in Dhoka soon after they made a public service announcement in the city’s biggest shopping mall.
Bangladesh named Test cricket orientation and rehab centre
Test cricket is one of the most prestigious forms of sport. However, in modern times, it does not enjoy much popularity around the world as the International Cricket Council has not bothered to globalise the sport the way FIFA has been doing for football.
Take it as a challenge, says boss asking for a week’s work in 24 hours
It had been 28 days since Shamim (29) last saw his newborn son. When he asked for paternity leave, his boss said “You should be teaching your son how to be self-sufficient. Do not make the same mistake your father did.”
No jams without rickshaws, says Dhoka mayor after banning the three-wheelers
Dhoka East City Corporation recently banned all rickshaws from plying the city corporation streets, with Mayor Dhapash saying the move was taken to ease the city’s extreme traffic congestion.
Cricket board plants landmines in pitches, it backfires
With an aim to improving their country’s prospects in Test cricket, the Cricket Board of This Country (CBTC) planted landmines in their pitches, but the ploy has only served to maim several of their own batsmen.
Marketing companies release new vaccine called Valentine to celebrate VD
“While people are back to normal and more or less conducting their usual lives again, we can’t always market brands and things like hotel stays and restaurant deals, because people will think we are indirectly advocating for health risks,” a member of the marketing collective said, requesting maximum publicity. “So we did what we do best -- we market-researched. We found that what we need is a vaccine. And we need to market that vaccine at a time when faith in vaccines is high…we just lucked out on that coinciding with Valentine’s Day.”
Noakhali welcomes Aung San Suu Kyi in Bhasanchar
How Suu Kyi lost her power, or whether she has or not, is not the concern at the moment for us, the most hospitable people in the history of the universe.
Messi suspects ‘Pasher Basar Aunty’ leaked his salary to media
Messi is furious as his incredible salary information was leaked by someone ‘unknown’.
Meet the disorganised crime family
A disorganised crime family – The Dark Side -- has suddenly come in the crosshairs of a multimillion-dollar propaganda machine, also known as News. Although no one is supposed to talk about it, so as to avoid feeding the propaganda, how innocent Third World country citizens are targeted by more prosperous nations merited some discussion.
Driving school to offer more than driving courses
Durodorshi Driving School has recently introduced an optional extended curriculum in their course. It caters to aspiring and current family private-car drivers who are sometimes expected to do tasks like buying groceries, overseeing construction work, assisting in painting the interior of the house, etc.