Write to Mita
Write to Mita
Dear Mita,
I have been dating a guy for about a year. He liked me for a long time before we started seeing each other and went out of his way to try and persuade me to be with him. He has been a loving and affectionate boyfriend since the beginning, but a bit reserved. He keeps his thoughts and problems to himself and I have accepted him that way. A few days ago he tells me out of the blue that he is no longer attracted to me. He loves me but he feels no chemistry between us. I am devastated to say the least because over the year I have grown to love him very much. He says he doesn't want to break up, but I can't see how a relationship can go on without chemistry. I know its not the most important thing but it’s still necessary. I know that if we continue many other problems and insecurities will stem from this. A part of me still wants to be with him, to make things right but I have no idea how I will do so. Please tell me what I should do.
Sad
Dear Sad,
If your boyfriend is saying that he is no longer attracted to you then he is giving a message that you should take, and the sooner the better. Whatever 'chemistry” means, it is certainly not a compliment. There could be a number of reasons for the sudden change of attitude but one thing is clear, the relationship is no longer the same for him. Please do not be too distraught by this. People do fall out of love or lose interest and it is not the end of the world if this happens. He is just being polite when he says that he does not want to break up. You should take the first step and break up with him to show that you are not willing to stay in a relationship that has no “chemistry”
Dear Mita,
I am a sixteen-year-old girl with impaired hearing. I have had this condition since I was a child but have never quite come to terms with it. I wear a hearing aid and I speak in sign language but I feel removed from all my friends. They're all nice to me but I can see that they see me as someone different from them. I don't always get invited to all the parties and get togethers. No boy has ever liked me. I just wish I could feel normal. Even my parents treat me differently than my brother and sister. I never get punished and they always take my side when there is an argument. I wish they wouldn't. What can I do to make people understand that I am not that different from them?
Deaf
Dear Differently Abled,
Everyone person has some kind of deficiency or the other. The person who wears glasses is also deficient in a way. Your hearing problem might be more serious but should not hamper your growth, development. However, for this you need a huge amount of self-confidence. Work hard and try to be the best in whatever you do. People will come to you for your intelligence, charm and confidence. This will take time but you must be determined. Regarding parents, they always have a soft corner for children they think are in someway backward. You must dispel their notion and prove that you are more capable and intelligent then your siblings.
Dear Mita,
Lately I have been feeling like I am treated like an ignorant person. I am always the last person in the group to get a joke and am often the butt of all jokes. People have always treated me like a ‘dumb blonde’ but I always took it with a grain of salt but now I am starting to feel that there is some truth to this. It was very difficult for me to find a job because I am not good at giving interviews. Now that I am working I can tell that my colleagues also laugh at me behind my back. I am trying to improve myself by reading newspapers and trying to come up with intelligent things to say during our chats but I don't think its working. Please help me!
Stupid
Dear Friend,
When I was young, I felt just like you. It is just a matter of self-confident. You are not stupid at all and stop telling yourself that. If people treat you like a dumb blonde, (whatever that means), then it is their problem. You must prove them wrong by improving your writing and speaking skill. Any reasonably intelligent person can do it by taking professional help. Continue to read, speak and make new friends. You must take this up as a challenge and start from today. Most importantly, tell yourself that you are not in any way less intelligent or presentable than your peers. It is only a matter of time when they will be coming to you for help.
