Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have been questioning my religious beliefs lately. I have always turned to God when I have needed something. Like when I wanted a man to fall in love with me and marry me or when I wanted a job or to pass an exam. Other than that I have never prayed or thought of God. This year my mom wants me to accompany her when she goes for Hajj and I feel like a hypocrite making so much effort to go, when I am unsure about my faith. Do you think I should fast this Ramadan to make things better? Please tell me what I should do.
Lost

Dear Lost,
Faith is very personal and difficult to advise on. Whether you should fast or not is also your decision. If you have always turned to God whenever you needed something and got satisfaction then it is fine to continue. Regarding accompanying your mother on Hajj, you could do it only to please your mother. That in itself is a very noble and worthwhile gesture.

Dear Mita,
I am very upset with my fiancée. He is a social person and has many friends, and almost all of them have been very nice to me, welcoming me into their group. However, one of his best friends and his wife have been extremely unkind. They have excluded me from many of their get togethers and have been blatantly rude to me on more than one occasion. My fiancée for some reason has completely overlooked this and refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong. He insists on inviting them out and gets angry when I don't want to come along. He is so nice to me otherwise I just don't get where this is coming from or how to deal with it. Please help.
Angry

Dear Angry,
I too agree that it is too small a matter for you two to be fighting over. If someone is ignoring you or being unkind then it reveals the character of that person. However, your fiancée should make sure that you are given the respect and attention you deserve. Meanwhile, try to find out the reason for their strange behaviour, perhaps there is more to it then meets the eye. Maybe they are jealous about something. Talk to you fiancée in a rational way and make him understand that their behavior is making you uncomfortable and you should not have to take this from anyone.

Dear Mita,
I have done something I am ashamed of but cannot admit to anyone. I have cheated on my boyfriend of five years. In my defense, I have been very unhappy with him lately because I felt like he was paying far too much attention to other women and ignoring me and I also feel like he should have proposed to me about a year ago and has shown no sign of wanting to get married. He knows the pressures I have been facing from my family but he still ignores everything I say about the subject. I met a man last year and we became good friends and last month, in a moment of weakness and despair I gave in and cheated on my boyfriend. I feel terrible. I cannot tell him because I know he will leave me. The worst part is, the man I cheated with is no longer interested in me. What should I do?
Fraud

Dear Fraud,
You have made a big mistake in a moment of weakness and that is why the old saying of look before you leap is still true. Anyway, we are human and all of us have such moments of weakness. You have to do something for damage control. Your options are few such as telling your boy friend everything in which case you run the risk of losing him. On the other hand, not telling him will be further cheating him. I am a firm believer of honesty is the best policy even if one has to pay a price. It will take a lot of maturity from both of you to handle this so make sure you both are there before you start this. Having said all this, your boyfriend should be sensitive to your situation and take note of the fact that by not proposing he is putting you in a very difficult situation. If he really loves and cares about you then he should take some steps to prove it.