The ideas actually come from...

Note: All characters, ideas and elements in this article are purely fictional and coincidence to anything real will be purely coincidental and will not hold the writer responsible.

I once tried to give ideas for terrorist attacks in a crazy write-up. The ideas served no purpose at all except that it made me the so-called "king of controversy". Now I realise that dumb writers like me are not meant to give such ideas. It's the filmmakers in Hollywood who are doing the real stuff. Wanna know why? Read on:

In the movie "True Lies", who drives a plane into a city with big skyscrapers? None other than our dear old tree trunk Arnold Schwarzenegger! (I'm a good speller and didn't need to consult the last RS issue to spell the name.) He drives the plane into the city through all the skyscrapers and kills all these terrorists occupying this building. So the Al-Qaeda figured out that flying a plane into a city wouldn't be that crazy, right? The plan to crash planes into buildings must have originated from the Matrix. There's a scene where a helicopter crashes into a building and there are these booms, bangs and explosions. While watching the Matrix, I guess Osama bin Laden must've been saying to himself, "If a helicopter can rip a building apart, so can American Airlines airplanes?" (I believe he had actually said this in Arabic; I've put it in English.) Thus came September 11 and you know what.

There's no clue about who conducted the recent bombing at the UN building that killed the UN representative De Mello but as far as I believe there's a clue to where the idea could have come from. In the movie "Spy Game" starring Brad Pitt and Robert Redford, there's a scene where this guy drives a car into a secured compound, rushes past all the security guards and crashes into a building where this really high-profile terrorist leader was residing. Moments later the building explodes and is blown to smithereens, killing the terrorist as well. The explosion was caused by explosives packed into the car.

Now the people who bombed the UN building must have watched the movie, especially the aforementioned sequence, and said, "Blimey, that's a darn cool stunt! We gotcha do something like this, mate!" Thus the bombing occurred and BBC found something to show over and over again and make my Dad take control over the remote control.

So now you know where the ideas actually come from. No wonder all the wise folks say TV is bad!

By Hamdu Mia

FUNNY ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD!

There are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.I hope you guys will enjoy them.

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floors. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

Compiled By Suravi

Jokes

Josh and his wife went to the state fair every year. Each time, Josh would say, "I'd like to ride in that airplane."

And every year, his wife would say, "I know, Josh, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

Then, finally one year, Josh and his wife attended the fair and Josh said, "I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year, I may never get another chance."
"That airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars," replied his wife.

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it'll cost you ten dollars."

Josh and his wife agree and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, but not a word is uttered by Josh or his wife. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Josh. "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Josh replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when my wife fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Poems

Magic of the Night

When the moon peaks through the apple trees
And the stars hide in the leaves
When the mist rolls down the valley on kitten feet
And the morning is a mile away
In the lavender sky
Then dreams fill the night with tender lullabies.

Star light, moon light soft as snow
In the meadows fireflies glow.

When Spirits glide on wandering ears
And wishes begin to drift on spheres
Magic swirls on Heavens hands
And doors open to luminous lands…

While drops of twilight fall on seas
And time adds onto eternity,
Sweetness spreads over closed eyes
And into the dawn fades mystical goodbyes…

By Bonhomie

A Scribble on Life

When I look into your eyes.. feels like another unleashed dream
Nothing new because this is usual 2 me and my luck
I know al these dreams are never going to come true
Yet I'm dreaming, dreaming for good... I guess
It's always better not be be a loser
And I'm being like myself... a dreamer...
Now, you're here within me, being my greatest faith
But nobody knows the tomorrow... what it's going to be for me
Perhaps you're going to get lost....
In the depth that I would never be able to reach
Its going to be my fault, don't blame yourself
Think about all the good times
...think about me....

I have just been a part of your life
But maybe I'm not here to stay... and it's not your fault
Hold on to your own dreams....
And don't cry because the tears don't suite you
You'll achieve all that you deserve someway, someday
Because your dreams are real, they are true
It's never wrong to dream... that's my belief
Never to be broken...always inside..just the way your are...

By Maher Sayeed Chowdhury

 

Hey everyone!

Sorry for bailing out on you like I did over the past few
weeks…you cannot imagine the kind of hell I was in!

Anyway, I'm back now, so hurry up and mail me the topics
you want to debate on! I'd also like to thank those who
kept mailing me while I was away…it meant a lot to me.

Well, this week, I don't have much to offer you, so I'll leave you with a collection of fun facts about our universal language English. Thanks to Kashfee for sending this:
There's no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore it's paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig!

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites ? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite are alike? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day and be cold as hell another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

People, not computers invented English, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, is not a race at all.)

That is why, when the stars are out, that are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it ,but when I wind up this essay, I end it!

Send your polls, opinions and comments to:
thegirlnextdoor1@hotmail.com

By Girls next door