Kill those hours -a survivor's guide

With the start of Ramadan, comes all the excitement of Eid. Yet, before that we all have to go through an entire month of fasting, which comes first. The first few days are always the hardest, with food all around us, almost too tempting for many of us to resist. But now even those are behind us, and the worst seems to be over. Except that it is not over yet. The first few days were difficult but bearable. They were weekdays days filled with activities, which left us little time to feel hungry. The real blow struck last weekend a holiday with absolutely nothing to do, stuck at home and bored out of my mind. Going through those two days was torture, but I managed to survive. So I guess the following is something of a survivor's guide, a few ways via which you can 'kill those hours of agony' before Iftar (and peace).

READ:
A great excuse for book lovers (especially those who are constantly pestered by their parents for spending too much 'valuable time' rehardly any time, and, to add insult to injury, also end up feeling faint as a result of all the undue exertion. Instead, settle for quieter games (chess, caram, monoploy, etc.) that require more brainpower than physical effort. Try to match up with someone who's equal to you after all, its never too fun losing to someone constantly when that person is obviously much better than you, and playing with younger kids will definitely turn out to be boring.
The competitive streak in you will your mind off food for hours (if you're lucky!).

SURF THE NET:
Now, this is fun! Browse, mail friends, chat do whatever catches your fancy. It is simply a guaranteed way to kill time. After all, the net is addictive and once totally immersed in whatever you are doing, the expression "time flies" comes to mind. I really don't think saying anything else is necessary.

GO SHOPPING:
Shop till you drop. After all, with Eid coming up fast, shopping is certainly the current craze. Cruise through the market and check out anything that catches your fancy. Finding the 'perfect' clothes for 'Eid' is often viewed as a personal challenge by many. Go wild, and try to find something that's totally unique. And once you have the perfect clothes, don't forget to shop for the perfect accessories. When you are done with your shopping and still feel like destroying time, go ahead and get something for your parents, siblings, friends, relatives, etc. The thrill lies in keeping your purchases a secret and surprising them on Eid.

TALK:
No matter what, nothing beats talking. After all, there are few existing people who don't love talking about themselves. Invite your best friends over to chill out, and talk. Get up to date with what's hot and what's not in your friends' lives. Fill them in to all that's happening in your life.
Lie back, relax and talk. Not just friends spends some time with your siblings and cousins. Regale them with amusing anecdotes and be on you way to be the center of everyone's attention.

Often, in the hubbub of everyday life, we lose touch with friends who we hardly see, just because we don't find enough 'time' to be in touch. Don't bear grudges at the other person for not being in touch for so long cause that's plain childish. Chances are that they were suitably busy with their lives too. Give them a call; talk and have the pleasure of getting reacquainted with their lives again, not to mention renewing your friendship.

MOVIES:
Just like a book, a movie is just something you can lose yourself in. Too bad you'll miss the company for popcorn and snacks, but a group of friends watching a particularly hilarious comedy is as good a substitute any day!
With all these activities, your hours should go by with hardly any difficulties. Yet, if the time still continues to bother you I guess its finally time to do the inevitable put down this RS issue, turn off the lights, draw your curtains, close your eyes and go o sleep. Voila!

By Jennifer Ashraf

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy: A feeling, when you feel you are going to feel that you have never felt before.
12. Classic: A book which people praises, but do not read.
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

By Manjurul Hasan Saki

Poems

"GIMMICKS"

Not everyone I know is my friend.
Not every friend that I have is rich.
Not every rich friend that I have is a spender.
Not every spending is from your heart.
Not every heart is in love.
Not every love is without a touch.
Not every touch is surrender.
Not every surrender is willful.
Not every will is of joy.
Not every joy is without tears.
And not every tear drop that you can see.

By Anisur Rahman
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Smart retorts

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring?
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number?
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve?
BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon?
BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there?
MAN: You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN: NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out
of the mouth.
MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think,
Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

By Shafey