By Quazi Zulquarnain Islam & Rohini Alamgir

“Kothin Pochano," "Fao Gejano," "Ajaira Pechal," "Jotil Prem," "Pura Tashki"… on beholding and reading these "DJuice" bill-boards, it is common practice to shake one's head and laugh at the absurdity of it all. Of course we fail to realize the one horrifying fact, which is, that these are all true! Right after encountering one such advertisement, we find ourselves calling, or rather, messaging our friends to inform them of the supposed "stupidity" of these one liners and to enhance our pleasures and mirth a bit further…hold on!! Wasn't that an action, which can be aptly termed as "fao gejano"?

It was common knowledge throughout time unknown, that women spend an awful lot of time gossiping, especially via the telephone. The birth of the mobile phone just seems to have increased this tendency. However, it must be noted that little though the device may be, it has brought out many great changes, namely getting the gents in touch their female sides! In other words, both women and their male counterparts can now be seen anywhere and everywhere doing pretty much the same thing…"ajaira pechal."

Then again, though mobile phones make it much easier to communicate, they have gone another step forward by introducing the Short Message Service (SMS). Nowadays these mobiles have stopped acting like a phone but act rather more like a pager since people prefer to discharge text messages to friends and family at the slightest excuse. Why? Simply because it is much faster, more efficient, more concise and most importantly, much cheaper. Ah! The wonderful gods of science and technology do know how to make life so much better, right? WRONG!

While the SMS revolution threatens to blow us away on the crest of a wave (read tsunami), there are however some curiously detrimental aspects of mobile phones that are often overlooked in the glossy billboards ads and the oddly comforting clicking sound of the mobile phones keypad.

Before we proceed however, would all those who have lost their mobile phones stand up please? We all know what Big Daddy's reaction usually is to a debacle/blessing in disguise such as this (A blessing only if daddy-o decides to buy you the very best money can buy). Also according to latest research, the glitzier the mobile phone the lesser is its chances of survival. After all, lets' face it, its survival of the fittest and everyone knows the prettier they are the easier they fall!

Enough about mobile phones, lets get down to our original topic of SMS. As aforementioned the benefits of SMS are countless, especially when it concerns the budding premiks and premikas of our beautiful city. Although the SMS provides them with a wonderful (read cheap) channel of expressing their vows of undying lubh and moony eyes for each other, it can also just as well leave them with a sore behind courtesy of mommy's cane.

Examine this situation. Premiks heart strives for Premika at dead of night. After all this is "Jotil Prem." Now obviously not being those retards that you see in the Bangla movies of yore, Premik knows very well that a call at this time of night can lead to one thing only- disaster. But of course there is the cheaper and more importantly SAFER alternative. Enter SMS. So by the light of the LCD display the premik types his Shakespearean vows and presses the send button, blissfully unaware of the far-reaching implications this press of a button would have. It just so happens that the premikas mommy had borrowed her cell phone since her one is out of order.

Well upon receiving the message mommy and daddy entered a state that can aptly be described as "Pura Tashki." They had stood by "Ajaira Pechal" and gritted their teeth against 'Fao Gejano," But this they cannot accept. What happens next is massacre.

So you see SMS isn't all that it is built up to be- that is if you wish to avoid sore behind.

And then there is the salami effect. Tk 2 doesn't seem all that much when you are wooing someone but when it takes you the same to just type a one word message it can get a bit annoying. And before you know it your credit has fallen to an all time low and that important call that you wanted to make just had to be postponed or you are resorted to begging for a phone from overly suspicious friends, what with the recent spate of cell phone thefts.

Of course when you encounter the "one dhil many pakhi" syndrome it is enough to give you a one second pulse, but the moment you realize that there is different rates for each of the pakhi's you pulse rate increases cumulatively. And it gives you a headache just to think about a beep after every pulse doesn't it?

The Yo! Generation has been fascinated by the low rates of cell phones and their glamour is irresistible especially when you can bok bok or do cow cow all day long. However when faithful parent decides that the bill is getting a bit too large and leave it upon us to fend for ourselves the cat catani decreases at an exponential rate.

All said and done however, the SMS revolution has proved a HUGELY successful one and in all regards it is something that has improved our lives significantly. It is good for quick pick me ups and invaluable when you want to convey a message without calling someone- a situation that you find yourself in quite frequently. And plus it is a non-evasive method of communication. You can always tell people and show them that you have sent the message! Good in risky situations!

There would be time to tell you more but there is this SMS that needs urgent attention..