The week in re(ar)view

Horse drawn rail carriages
Bangladesh Railway (BR) is planning to procure 130 passenger carriages at 400 crore taka. Usually those who travel know very well that delays are usually the fault of a lone engine having broken down. So our question is what will pull all these carriages? Horses? We will need to import them too. Cows? They will be busy chewing grass alongside the tracks making the delays almost as long as when actual engines are used. The last remaining option is to use the excess politicians.

Electric woes
Football fever cleared up on July 9. That gave the electricity station operators room to breathe a sigh of relief. Now they can go back to disrupting power indiscriminately. Heck, now they can go about fearlessly creating our misery. In our area blackouts occurred the very next morning after Zidane introduced the smoothness of his head to Materazzi.

Bored Dhakaites can now play a betting game on the frequent load shedding occurrences. A July 11 stated that the government is planning to increase electricity tariff in urban areas by 5 percent. So we will have to end up paying for something that we really don't get in the first place. Our suggestion is to start practicing living in he dark.

Rock, paper, scissors anyone?
The Election Commission (EC) said on 9 July that they would prepare the voter list in 20 days time. This is interesting because what hey could not do in several years they are planning to complete in several days. Wonder if they will use any economical statistical method of selection or he more complicated version known as 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'. Those who want to vote (if any) can play rock paper scissors to see if they can get in to vote.

Dudes and men
15 July one RABman (Rapid Action Battalion) along with a retired army sergeant along with 5 others was held for looting a covered van. Pricey electronics and apparel were apparently the choice pick of the day.

On another note RAB allegedly nabbed 2 dudes who were carrying 20 lakh taka strapped to their body. Funny cause people generally use wallets or cases. Kangaroos even evolved genetically so they can have a pouch to carry their hard earned Australian dollars.

The money carrying dudes claimed that RABmen embezzled 2.5 lakh taka before handing them over to police. Of course, the two dudes weren't all angels themselves carrying the money belonging to a politically attached guy. Question is who really siphoned away the 2.5 lakhs. A bigger question is in such a light how can we trust the people who are supposed to protect us? The biggest question of all is of course, why did the chicken cross the road?

Just shout 'thieves'
You want to get someone is really big trouble? Just shout out 'thieves', 'robbers', 'badmen', 'dudes with bad intent' etc and point accusingly. Apparently that's why four men were beaten by a mob. The four men went to a manpower agency owner's house and demanded a refund. The owner apparently took money to send one of them abroad but didn't' keep his word. The wife decided to be supportive and went out screaming the above apostrophised word. Now everyone is in jail. So the next time you really want to angrily get back at your boyfirned/girlfriend/lover/in-law/boss/rickshawallah/annoying street dog, just scream.

By Gokhra and Mood Dude

The astronaut
" I would like to be an astronaut. To be an astronaut it might take a long time but it will be fun. I would have to travel to the moon and nine other planets, from there I have to collect information and send it to the Earth so human beings could use the information for their safety.

First, I need a very healthy body, to prepare for this I need to eat healthy food and exercise. An astronaut provides a service to the community because astronauts bring information. This job is important to the community because the astronaut teaches you how life is in space. I think their job is also important because if there are any aliens out there it will be stopped by astronauts.

I want to see the unseen and know the unknown. Finally, I will get to fly a rocket ship in outer space!"

The Leprechauns
"I was coming home from school, I heard very strange giggles, and not like humans do. It was ...leprechauns! The leprechauns were having a party. The legend is that when someone catches leprechauns they get 3 free wishes. So here are my wishes.

My first wish is to have super power. I would want super power because if there are criminals or villains in town, I will put them in jail.

My second wish is no Homework. I want no homework because how is a super Hero going to save the town and do his homework at the same time? My second reason is because when I am done saving the city I have to rest instead of doing homework.

My final wish is a fancy car. I would want a fancy car because if I run out of flying power I will need something fast like a car. My second reason is so I could go places with my friends."

Dr.King
"Dr. King dreamed that everyone would stay in peace and Black and White would get along together. He also hoped that they would go to the same school and drink from the same fountain, plus play with each other. Black and White people could also sit wherever they want.

I can keep his dream alive by doing what Dr. King told people to do, like if you get in a fight don't use violence, talk it over. Plus you can get along with people and do good stuff for people.

Learning about Dr. King taught me to be nice with people no matter they are black or white because all people are same. I also learned to respect others, he even taught me not to fight but to use words to solve a problem."

By Mustafa Alvi

Recap: Teen Diaries tells the story of four very different teenaged girls studying at RS High, who learn, by their interaction with each other, to look beyond labels and see the people beneath. During the last few weeks, we've seen Prianka the Queen Bee have a falling out with her loyal side-kick, the girly-girl Lamia, who ended up becoming friends with Sadia, the new girl she used to pick on. As Lamia discovers what friendship should really be like, Prianka ends up saddled with a group project, with none other than the anti-social nerd Afrida. The two pairs find themselves facing off against each other in an inter-class science tournament. This week, we hear it from Prianka.

Dear Diary,
Life is good! We qualified for the inter-school Science Fair! RS High is going to kick some butt! I am so happy, I just can't help myself. Let me tell you all about it.

Afrida and I worked really hard on our project. Her mom is such a sweetheart; she sent packed lunches for us. I just wish Frida would ease up on her. Anyway, when our project was completed, it was this beautiful long board, painted over to look like a newspaper, with pop-up fact-boxes, and carefully inked 'photos' of genes and proteins, and a 'business page' with graphs. I was so proud of it! Actually, most of the work was done by Frida, but I also had an awesome brainstorm that made it even punchier. During our presentation, I'd dressed Frida up in a formal outfit, so that she looked like a BBC newscaster. She stood in front of the board did the intro, like a weather report and then showed the judges an AV which featured me as a reporter, and I showed an interview with Hafiz sir. I didn't need to wait for the scores to know we'd won. None of the seniors had anything so cool…their stupid 3D models weren't half as good as ours. I just really wish my parents had been here. Mom had a meeting to attend, and Dad's still in India. Ah well. At least Frida's mom was there. She video'd the whole presentation.

Sadia and Lamia had a very pretty project too…they'd made a fake aquarium, with a watercolor background, and hung origami sea creatures from the top. They came out as one of the runners-up. Lamia forgot that we were fighting, and came up to hug me and congratulate me. I think I miss her a little. She's become a little less stupid of late.

Basketball practice is getting intense. I wish Sadia would stop being such a thin-skinned idiot. Contrary to what she might think, I am not out to get her. I have better things to worry about, like the upcoming basketball tournament, for one. Some people are just so self-centred!

Anyway, diary, I have to run. Saquib is throwing a celebratory party for us, and I have to go and bug Frida to go with me. Seriously, if it hadn't been for me, this girl would have no social life. Catch you later!
Prianka

By The Girl Next Door

Album release

If you love the alternative rock music Arbovirus has been churning out then head over to the G-Series showroom in Bashundhara City TODAY. Their debut album to be released around 4:00pm is titled 64m 53s, based on the total duration of the tracks. Band members as well as other celebrities will be present for pictures, autographs, female adoration and other general forms of harassment.