Studying in chicken coops

I finally made up my mind to uncover the truth about many of the so-called English medium schools in Dhaka city. I feel that everyone should be aware of it. You must have noticed the sudden growth of English schools, especially in Dhanmondi. I wonder why they still call it a residential area. If you are one of the lucky people who live there then you are probably less than a hundred yards from one no matter which end you live in! That is all well and good but as you come out your front gate every morning something along the lines of “Is this any place for a school? (Morons! I am late again”) escapes your lips. One still overlooks all that most of the time thinking that at least the kids are getting a proper schooling.

But then again, is the schooling really proper? What is the definition of a proper schooling? Let me guess. A proper school should have an environment where students can learn to express themselves and discover their own creativity, talents and learn things under proper guidance?

If that is the definition, then most of the English medium schools in Dhaka aren't eligible to be called a school. Yes! It's true! I am not kidding. Let's go back to Dhanmondi where the word school seems to have a whole new definition. A School is an apartment building or a home with no space left for anything except for teaching. Over crowded and congested, most of these have no fields for playing.

I always wondered why it is like this and finally got an explanation. The schools are in apartments and homes in the R/A so that students feel more homely while they are there. The rooms are small and congested so that students feel warm and cosy while they are studying. There are no fields for playing because if there are fields then kids would play more and study less. This could also increase the chances of getting injured while outside. So instead of all that most of these have exciting indoor games like chess, carom board etc.

When these schools are giving so much personal care to their students that what can I say?

This is how I see it. All these so called schools are business institutions that don't really care about the quality of the education they give out. Most of the English medium schools in Dhanmondi and in many other places are proper at all. A school doesn't only imply a place for studying. There must be a proper spacious campus and a healthy environment for students to play and breathe in. These things affect young children and the way they think. Speaking of studying, some of the schools don't even have proper teachers, classrooms and lab facilities. Some of the teachers even encourage and force students to take private tuitions. These teachers can go as far as threatening to stop or affect their O' level and A' level exams unless they do as advised! I don't get it. Exactly how are they supposed to be able to do it? All of these schools register their students under the British Council as private candidates. Being a 'Private' candidate means that you are giving the exams by studying on your own and are not affiliated with any school. How in the world can anyone hamper your exam or your grades in that case? Think about it! If you are a private student, then that automatically makes all these fake schools just the same as any coaching centre!

You must be wondering where I did my schooling. Well I got lucky! I am from Green herald which is a proper school and an international examination centre! I didn't write this as an ad for my school or to make people feel bad. I myself am appearing for my A' Level form one such place and all I want to say is that the government should take steps to impose some rules and make these coaching centres maintain a minimum standard in order to be called schools. We do have a right to a proper education for the amounts our parents are having to pay for it! I thank Rising Star for publishing this. If anyone is hurt or puzzled or in any way personally affected by this article please don't try to find me. I am too young to die, really!

By Mushfiqur Rahman

Laff lines

Brave Captain
Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly coloured frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men sat and marvelled at the courage of such a manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.
Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."

Getting Smarter
A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marvelled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says Green.

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."