RS Jukebox
Part EROck AntheMnM

*Begin transmission*
(After a long pause) We see it fit to risk our skins at RS Records to appear in this segment. Because we know the state the music industry is in. We have seen even the manliest of you shouting in a high pitched voice the names of Bieber and Cyrus. We know you always crawl back to Lady Gaga and wait expectantly for the next Rebecca Black single. Don't worry we won't judge you. We too are conformists and we know what makes you squeal. So roll over Beethoven as we bring you the next sensation - Ero Senin feat. The Mad Monkey. Here's their first single 'Friday':

“Ow ow ow ow ow ow
I know you hate me, I know you dare
Just shout 'fight me', and I'll be there
Your boxing glove, you want my heart,
And we will never, ever, ever be apart.
Aren't we done fightin'? Dude, quit punchin'
“I'll kill you dead,” what are you sayin'?
Said, “There's another,” and punched right in my face
My first fight broke my nose for the first time.
And I was like Friday, Friday, Friday oooooh
Friday, Friday, Friday noooo
Friday, Friday, Friday oooooh
I thought you'd leave my face alone…”

That was weird. And high-pitched. And sounded vaguely familiar: we got the same sickening lurch in our stomachs that we get when we splatter a cockroach. Anyway, we have the… er, singers with us for an interview:

RS: Our listener(s) wants to hear what was it that it made you take up singing? And for God's sake why?

Ero: Well I wanted to be a musician you see, but I just didn't have the time to learn the theory. And I was tired. Then I met MnM one day and his awesome rapping skills gave me the inspiration I needed.

RS: But err, MnM stammers a lot, and well…

MnM: Yo man. Music is all about the feeling. Did you not get goosebumps when you heard the song?

RS: Goosebumps seems to be the right word. So what made you guys want to write a song about boxing?

MnM: Dude that is not about boxing. It has a deeper inner meaning. Tell 'em E-Dawg.

Ero: Don't call me that. And umm yes, well you see, it's a deep, philosophical poem. It takes up the challenges of humanity and its existential angst. The line “My first fight broke my nose” is all about the frailties of human nature.

RS: (baffled) You sure you are not talking about a Pink Floyd song?

MnM: You are not listening man. You see we have to ask ourselves why we are here. What is it that makes us tick. Say Carpe Diem. We need to question society and ask ourselves how to seize the day. And the answer to all that, is Friday. You hear the need in our voice while we sing out the rhymes? That's the beat of the fallen, the tone that sets their heart resonating with their inner strength.

RS: That sounds really profound and really superficial at the same time. I don't know how you do that.

MnM: Then 'Friday' is your song. Your soul music.

RS - Err moving on… what do you say about the copyright issues that have been brought up by Bieber against Friday?

Ero- (laughing) What copyright issues? The times they are a-changing. I have a squeaky voice by nature and a voice-enhancing software on my laptop. Let's just move on to out next song shall we…

“Poker, Poker, Poker noooo
Poke her, Poke her, Poke her oooooh…”

For full enjoyment of the interview, look up Rebecca Black's interpretation of Friday on Youtube.com.

By Ero Senin Feat. The Mad Monkey

How much of a Dhakaite are you?

Q.1 So what do you do when you are stuck in traffic near the Mohakhali flyover?
a) Complain and grumble futilely to the immense annoyance of your chauffeur.
b) Lower the car windows because you know you will run out of gas soon if you keep the AC on.
c) Take out your textbook/laptop/smartphone and get to work.
d) Get down to direct and control traffic, because you just noticed the sergeant having ice cream by the shade.

Q.2 How long does it take to come from Uttara to Mohammadpur at 8 pm on an average workday?
a) 2 hours.
b) 1 hour 30 minutes.
c) 20 minutes.
d) 45 minutes.

Q.3 You hear excited voices under your house one evening. You automatically assume that:
a) The fighting couple who lives next door has brought their quarrel out in the sundry.
b) Someone just got mugged.
c) They found a dead body in the nearby lake.
d) Someone found a wallet loaded with dollars which they are taking to return to the police.

Q.4 When you hear someone with a megaphone outside your house, saying something which nobody can understand, you know it's most likely to be
a) A canvasser selling solutions for hairfall, pests, asthma and various other unmentionable diseases.
b) An announcement that there will be no water for five hours tomorrow.
c) A plea to people to buy lottery tickets.
d) Someone's dead.

Q.5 What do you do on a hartal?
a) You take your car out because you are just too cool.
b) You join whatever they are protesting and set fire to a few cars.
c) You invite your friends over to play cricket in the empty roads.
d) You sleep late and eat khichuri for lunch.

Q.6 Which tastes best?
a) Fish dipped in formalin for the extra tang.
b) Chanachur fried with a bit of Mobil for the crispiness.
c) Mangoes that have been made over with colour to make them look ripe.
d) Lemons, because they are the only things not meddled with.

Q.7 Where do you go for a date?
a) Infamous lounge somewhere in Dhanmondi.
b) Bellagio, because you are so loaded.
c) Dhanmondi Lake, the only place with room to breathe and do other things.
d) The roof of your house, where the only problem is the prying eyes of your little sibling.

Q.8 When did you last wear a lungi or dhoti?
a) You wear them to sleep every night, because they are so comfortable.
b) At your cousin's holud in the village.
c) A very long, terrible time back when you were a child of about five.
d) You never wore them.

Q.9 You cannot imagine Pohela Boishakh without
a) Panta Bhaat and Ilish Mach.
b) The terrible heat.
c) Dhaka University area.
d) A day out with your friends.

Question a) b) c) d)
1 1 2 3 4
2 4 3 1 2
3 2 4 3 1
4 4 3 2 1
5 1 2 4 3
6 2 4 3 1
7 3 1 4 2
8 4 3 2 1
9 3 1 4 2

If your score is 9 17, then you are not a Dhakaite at all. The only roads you know are probably the ones to your school and Dadu's place. You are not used to the eccentricities of this fantastic city, and you are also the type to buy books only from Words n Pages.

If your score is 18 26, then you need not worry, you will make it to the end. You are not exactly what they call 'street savvy', but you know you way to your coaching, you friends' houses and back to your place again. You only need to learn where FDC is and then you're on your way to becoming a true Dhakaite.

If your score is 27 36, then you are a bona fide Dhakaite. You know where to go for new clothes, and you know not to answer when a stranger calls out to you as you ride a rickshaw through a darkened alley. You keep out of trouble, enjoy watching hustles and like your food toxic, just like a true Dhakaite.

By Anashua