PLANET RS
The call of the wild right now is 'moo'. And 'baa' and the occasional bleak 'meh'. It's not the same disregarding meh as the ones uttered by young people all over. But when it comes from a goat, it has the same couldn't-care-much-if-there's-enough-grass attitude. Eid is upon us and it's a one time occurrence when it almost coincides with the other celebration of all things gore: Halloween. There's blood, there's feasting and at the end of it all there's a satisfying burp. Eid Mubarak people, hope you come back to RS hungry for more.
Ehsanur Raza Ronny, RS Editor
Avoiding the question of price
Story: Rannia Shehrish
Art: E R Ronny
It is that time of the year; the occasional mooing and increasing smell of cow poop is rapidly filling the air and Eid spirits are soaring high. Lifted by happiness, excitement and enthusiasm, you go cow shopping. Because you are an idiot. Before long, you are mired in muck that is more than mud with heaving snorting bodies all around participating in random excretion. There are dalals everywhere, leering owners are asking outrageous prices and people are scrutinising cow teeth like they hold the map to the lost templar treasure.
Thankfully, your dad comes to the rescue and you find this beautiful goru with a chubby butt, meaning more meat. Obviously you are the one to walk it home, because your dad certainly won't. Relieved to be out of there, you start walking with a half smile, pretending you are a cowboy.
But peace is an illusion. Two steps out of the market, you are assailed by questions and opinions, from all sides, at once. It only gets worse as you go on because the long walk from Gabtoli has worn out your feet, the guarding of the cow has worn out your spirits {you were never meant to be a cowboy) and your parched throat has begun hurting from shouting answers. Something needs to be done.............................................................................................................................................
Avoidance Method # 1
Shock and Awe
What is the one thing people have plenty of during Eid? Money. And which group can get a hold of anyone, anywhere and come away with most of the cash? That's right. Put on a saree and some make up and walk home, question free. Enjoy watching the occasional idiot bolting in the opposite direction. There will be certain questions asked about your manhood. Be proud - you have proven that you have the courage to break the rules. Now what man is a man who doesn't break rules?
Avoidance Method # 2
Guns solve everything
Nothing works. The questions keep coming. So you hire some armed guards with explicit instructions to shoot on site every questioner because goddammit if you are going to answer questions and to hell with hiring people to take the cow home while you bail on a rickshaw. No, this is about pride, this is about power. You. Will. Not. Break.
Then, because he's Bangladeshi, one of the guards forgets himself and asks, “Boss, koto nise?”
Pandemonium.
Avoidance Method # 3
Trojan Horse
Well, except you are the Dhakaiya Goru. Dress up as the calf and walk beside the cow. People will be surprised to see one and a half cows ambling down the streets without a care in the world. No humans, no questions. However, as you may expect, this ploy may lead to attempted theft. We suggest including sharp horns in your costume.
Avoidance Method # 4
The insanity plea
By now you are a sexy cross-dressing cow-man with a battle raging around you where your own guards are following orders and killing each other. Plus side - the roads are empty. Go home. Just... go home. Don't forget the cow though.
Trick or Meat
By Ahmad Ibrahim
Every year annoying kids have a field day bugging older people for candy on October 31st. Over the years, Halloween has all mellowed down from its horrific origins and parents might take offence if you try to scare away the greedy kids from getting their hands on the candy you bought and planned on eating. There is a small window of opportunity this year, though, where you can finally be more 'authentic' about Halloween. With Eid coming just days before it, the blood and stench of cut-up flesh will give it an appropriate setting and might scare off those pesky brats. And if that doesn't work, you can always try giving away meat during trick-or-treat time (after keeping them out to rot for the good part of three days, at least). Happy scaring!
People like to talk. Apparently without issues. Not really a surprise considering our politicians. Here're some of the things they said.
Wasique Hasan
Awesomeness test! Comment if you're real or (grimacing) barca. Let us start the arguments! Wait, let me get some popcorn and a chair.
Munawar Mobin Barcelona all the way!
FH Silas Real Betis FTW.
So the choice is between the real [Real Madrid/Betis] and the unreal [Barca]? If Real Betis has the real betis, who has the unreal betis? - RS
Asifa Ishrat Noor
Does C.I.D. count as serial? Then my father watches Hindi serial, too.
Mastura Tasnim Not if he's watching it for comic relief - it's hilarious!
Neshmeen Faatimah If CID isn't a Hindi serial, I don't know WHAT is.
Junu Huq
Hey thanks RS for the Torchlight 2 review! I bet you guys are busy with Dishonored now. Hehe! Keep 'em coming! And by the way, Dishonored ROCKS!
We sense a Jedi mind-trick here. - RS
Ionik Tanzim (about last week's Babu comic)
Is this cow going to compete in upcoming Formula-1 Grand Prix in India?
J-man Jisan Is it just me or did everyone notice the cow fart?
Anika Zaman ^duh! Newton's third law!
Shaer Reaz
Pink is the manliest colour ever.
Clearly you have gone over to the dark side, which is, in fact, a startling shade of pink. - RS
