The amazing science of happiness
In a forest, a crow encounters a swan and begins to feel inferior due to the swan's white feathers, presuming the swan must be the happiest bird. The swan, on the other hand, envies the parrot for its two colours, believing it to be happier.
When the crow consults the parrot, it learns the parrot admires the peacock for its vibrant hues. Seeking wisdom, the crow visits a peacock in the zoo and discovers that despite being a spectacle for its beauty, the trapped peacock wishes to be a crow, free to roam anywhere.
True happiness lies in accepting and appreciating what we have rather than envying others for what we don't have. The moral is a poignant reminder of the dangers of unnecessary comparisons and the importance of gratitude for our blessings.
Harvard Professor Dan Gilbert prompts us to question the true essence of happiness, challenging the conventional belief that happiness stems from fulfilling our desires. He highlights how society's flawed guidance often derails our quest for joy. We are incessantly fed strategies that fail to deliver genuine contentment, suggesting a deeper, more introspective path to finding true happiness.
Gilbert claims our brain has an incredible capacity to create happiness, even in tough situations, suggesting true joy lies in our journey and resilience, not just in our successes. Happiness is not about hitting specific goals, like a promotion, but the experience of getting there.
Often, unhappiness results from the gap between our expectations and reality. We believe that specific outcomes will bring us immense joy or sorrow, only to find that our actual emotional response is much more muted. This discrepancy stems from our brain's ability to adapt and find contentment in various situations.
There is a concept of "synthetic happiness," which is the happiness we "manufacture" when we don't get what we want. An example of synthetic happiness could be the experience of someone who feels initial disappointment after failing to get a job he applied for.
However, in time, he may find positive aspects in the rejection, such as pursuing a different path that aligns more closely with his passions. He may even view the consequence as a blessing in disguise, feeling genuinely content with the outcome.
We live in a world that celebrates the freedom of choice. However, too many choices can actually hinder our happiness. Having too many options can lead to decision paralysis and increased dissatisfaction because we are constantly plagued by the "what ifs" of the paths not taken.
Exploring happiness teaches us the value of embracing change and uncertainty. Our ability to adapt and find joy in unexpected outcomes highlights the resilience of the human spirit. It is a reminder that sometimes, the best moments of happiness come from the most surprising places.
Perspective also plays a vital role in our happiness. How we choose to view our circumstances can significantly impact our level of happiness. We can enhance our overall well-being by focusing on the positives and maintaining a grateful attitude. Try it; it works like a wonder.
Various research on happiness reveals a multifaceted picture: happiness is influenced by factors like financial security, with a noted plateau in emotional well-being beyond a certain level of income.
Strong social connections can significantly contribute to long-term happiness, unlike material wealth or fame. Health also plays a crucial role, with physical and mental well-being closely tied to satisfaction levels. Acts of generosity also enhance happiness, suggesting that the act of giving to others can be more rewarding than spending on oneself.
The science of happiness invites us to rethink our assumptions about what makes us happy. It is not just the significant achievements or the perfect scenarios but also our ability to find joy in the unexpected and to integrate happiness in the face of adversity.
The author is founder and managing director of BuildCon Consultancies Ltd. This write-up is inspired by Dan Gilbert's Ted Talk called "The Surprising Science of Happiness."