Dos and don’ts in an argument with your significant other
Arguments are part of a healthy relationship. In fact, having an argument can strengthen the bond between partners, allowing important issues to rise to the surface and be hashed out. Instead of tiptoeing around a tiff, therefore, it is important to know how to have a healthy one that does not significantly damage the other's feelings.
Dos
See things from the other person's perspective
At all times, remember that you are in an uncomfortable moment with the one you love. This will help you give the other person the benefit of doubt and keep your anger in check.
Communicate honestly and with good intentions
The idea is to find a solution to a problem that both partners are facing. Instead of speaking the first harsh thing that comes to mind, understand, that it is always the problem against the couple, not the couple against each other.
Learn how to handle the situation better the next time
The goal of conflict resolution is not only to have the fight in a healthy manner, but also to know what can hurt your partner and how to avoid these actions in the future.
Give your partner time to cool off
It is important to understand that different people take different amounts of time to get back to normal after an argument. If hurtful things have been said, the downtime may be longer. Allow your partner space to come back into their own.
Don'ts
Get personal or below-the-belt in a heated moment
Bringing the ego into it will have you fighting to win, not to resolve the situation.
Bring up the past
Rehashing everything that happened in the past in every argument will make your partner feel devalued and underappreciated for their positive efforts. Stick to the matter at hand.
Refuse to admit fault
Often times, we realise mid-fight, that our partner is sounding more and more right. Instead of escalating the fight to prove your stance, concede with humility and try to diffuse the situation.
Hand over undue blame
Statements such as "I put all the effort to keep this relationship going" are unfair and unjustified. In fact, it is often during a fight that one must keep in mind all the times their partner has been good to them. This helps keep the argument fair.
Curse or call each other names
Remember, a conflict will end, but your partner will always remember how you treated them in anger. Choose words that are dignified and that befit the respectful, loving relationship you share with your partner.