Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a woman of twenty-two and have been seeing the same man for the past 6 years. I am very much in love with him. He is good looking, charming and intelligent. I couldn't believe he chose me when we first started seeing each other. Two months ago, I received a phone call from a woman who claimed that she has been dating my boyfriend for the past few months. At first, I didn't believe her, but she was able to tell me things about him that only someone who has been intimate with him can know. I still refused to believe her and talked to her rather harshly. A few weeks later, an acquaintance of mine asked me if my boyfriend and I had broken up. When I said no, she looked very taken aback and embarrassed and when I begged her to tell me what was wrong, she admitted rather reluctantly that she had seen him with another woman, and they seemed to be on a date. I don't want to confront my boyfriend and have him think I suspect him. But I do want to get to the bottom of this. Please tell me how I can do so discreetly.
Lost

Dear Lost,
The best thing to do under these circumstances is to ask him directly. You have a long term relationship and therefore you expect honesty from him. There is no need to be discreet in this regard. Don't accuse him but just say that this is what you have heard and want an explanation. However, if you are very reluctant then go back to the friend and ask her in detail why she thinks he was on a date. I know some men get very upset if they think you are suspecting them but in this situation you certainly need an answer.

Dear Mita,
For the past few months, I have been living in deep fear. I have moved to a new apartment, where I live on my own and ever since the first night, I have a strange sensation that I am not alone and that I am being watched. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like someone has just shoved me off my bed. When I am sure I have locked my doors, I find them wide open. I find my TV on and my things are often lost which is unusual for me. Do you think I'm losing my mind?
Crazy

Dear Crazy,
I don't think you are crazy at all. Perhaps there is something bothering you unconsciously and it is being manifested in strange ways. All of us experience unusual situations at one time or the other. There is no need to panic, just approach it rationally. Make sure all the doors and windows are locked properly before you sleep and check every details of the apartment such as TV, stove etc. you might even want to write it down. If these feelings continue then I suggest you talk to a counselor or psychiatrist. Remember, one does not have to be crazy to go to a doctor.