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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
A friend of mine is cheating on his girlfriend of 5 years. Not just with one person, but many different women, most of whom are unaware that he is in a committed relationship. I have watched him do this time and again and it has been a burden on my conscience for sometime now. I know his girlfriend well now and I feel really guilty every time I see her or she calls me to ask if he is with me. He doesn't listen to me when I tell him I don't want to lie for him anymore and what he is doing is wrong. I don't have the courage to betray him and tell her what he has been doing. What should I do?
Guilty

Dear Guilty,
You should not have any qualms to expose a person who is so devoid of ethics. You cannot and should not remain silent and say this is not your business. For whatever reason, you are involved. This girl calls and asks you, which means she trusts you and believes that you will speak the truth. You are right, you should not lie anymore. There is no reason to take the responsibility of his insincerity. You should confront him, tell him that it is high time he came out clean, you will not lie for him any more and if he does not then you will do it. He might make a lot of excuses but once you make up your mind then just do it. Don't let him persuade you not to, unless he makes a sincere effort to change his ways.

Dear Mita,
My friends tell me I am an incorrigible flirt. I don't even realise when I am flirting, it just happens when I interact with someone from the opposite sex. Even though I am in a serious relationship, I feel alive when I have a witty banter with the opposite sex. But I suppose this has become a problem because I end up leading men on and hurting them (according to my friends). What can I do to stop this?
Flirt

Dear Flirt,
Actually there is nothing wrong in a bit of flirting once in a while. However, this should not go to an extent that it results in hurting someone. The lighthearted banter should not cross a certain limit and be misunderstood as anything more than that. Never give the impression that it is anything more and can lead to a serious relationship. You can also ask your friends to stop you when they think you are going too far. Actually I don't think this is a huge problem, just be aware that you might be misunderstood and act accordingly.

Dear Mita,
I am a sixteen-year-old girl and am hopelessly in love with an uncle of mine. He is my mother's cousin and the kindest, most handsome man I know. He is ten years older than me though, and treats me like a child. Recently, his marriage has been arranged with one of his colleagues and I have been miserable since I heard! I want to tell him about my love and ask him to be mine but I don't have the courage to do it. I worry that people won't understand my feelings for him. I feel so miserable sometimes I want to end my life! What should I do?
Crazy in Love

Dear Crazy in Love,
You are only sixteen and life is long. There will be many more loves in your life and someday it will be serious enough for you to know that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. This uncle of yours is certainly not that person. This is nothing more than an infatuation and the sooner you realise it the better it is for you. Please don't give the opportunity to others and him to laugh at you. He might be the most handsome and charming person in the world, but he is not for you. Let him get married and have a happy life. You have so much to look forward to, so many dreams and ambitions. Don't spoil it by getting bogged down in unrealistic dreams.