My Dhaka: Dhaka’s mothers

We are unforgiving mothers. We take the job of motherhood so seriously that we can even ruin the child's entire childhood and be smug about it. We want it all -- a successful career, well-mannered and well-fed goody-two-shoe children, a spick and span household, manicured garden, a good amount of savings in the bank, a docile and rich husband. I mean our list of necessities is boundless and all for the sake of a happy family picture at an Instagrammable event of family or friend. So, what if the stakes are too high? We are monsters in the guise of smart, happy, multi-tasking women.

We are anything but contented. We strongly believe that since we have borne the child for nine months, they are now our prisoners of conscience with zero freedom. Dhaka mothers are big drama queens too, if our child scores a 90 in their math test, we make a big, unnecessary fuss and stomp away from the room, giving the child a heart attack. We compel them to fare in everything in life, we make them competitive.

No pyjama parties, all group studies will be held in your living room, and no staying up late after 10:00pm; we need to control every fine detail of the child's life even if it is through shaming, withdrawal of love, or other punishments.

We act as if the children are our puppets or even worse our pets, we show them off to guests and relatives and make them perform a new trick every time. We expect the house to be unrealistically spotless when guests are coming, all has to be picture-perfect and the children and husband must willingly put a front of happy, social face.  This is our litmus test, and we need it to be right, our social standing depends on it heavily.

We hardly knock on our children's doors. In fact, they are not allowed to shut the door and of course, we do not know the meaning of privacy for children. We need to know everything that is going on in their lives if they are going out with a friend then providing us with the friend's mother's number is mandatory. And also mandatory is answering, with complete satisfaction, questions like, where are you going? Who are you going out with? How are you going? What time are you coming home? What is your friend's pet's name?

 And if we see your party pictures then we assume that every friend is your boyfriend or girlfriend and expect you to duly make us understand otherwise.

We love our lectures and our favourite complaint is "Is this a hotel, am I housekeeping?" Or that famous line "You will understand my worth when I am no more". Then there is the subtle threat every Dhaka mum poses when she's cleaning the house that no one is helping her but at the same time declining any voluntary help. We Dhaka mothers are like martyrs, sacrificing everything for the sake of the family.

Yes, we are strict, authoritarian mothers but in our defence, we do all these so that our children can live a cushioned happy life. Our style of parenting emphasises on high standards, we are aggressive mothers, yet we are willing to fight your demons to plate you the best of everything in life.

Let all children remember their mothers as a soft yet firm elegant lady who always smells divine and has unlimited selfless love and all good intention for you.