Published on 12:00 AM, September 16, 2023

Satire

Bangladeshi toddler named in Shorbes 3 under 3

Azuzu starting off her Instagram page titled ‘fkjahkjadci.dghdskkasvcksnk*6’ Also, she cannot spell. Photo: Tanaphong Toochinda

Azlazin Zafriath, a two-year-old from Dhaka, has been named in the prestigious Shorbes 3 under 3 2023 list.  

Every year, Shorbes releases a list of 3 toddlers under the age of 3 who have made significant contributions to the fields of business, social change, and digital marketing. Baby Azlazin, who is as cute as cute can be, has been recognised in the digital marketing category.

Azlazin's journey began two years ago, when she was born. Her parents are both working professionals, holding senior level marketing positions at different multinational corporations.

When asked about what led to this unprecedented achievement, and what it means to her, Azlazin stared deeply back into the eyes of the reporter, smacked him in the face in the most adorable but surprisingly painful fashion, and ran away with her tiny cute legs.

The baby's father, SEO Chowdhury, explained that this has been the fruit of baby Azuzu's lifelong hard work.

"The moment she was born, a little fleshy bundle of smiles and bubbly laughter, we realised her potential. Every time she smiles, all the stress and anxiety seems to leave the room. Friends, family members, and strangers alike love her unconditionally, and will do anything for her. My wife and I realised that our baby would be a social media star, and we would do everything in our power to make it happen," he said.

"You might be wondering what a two-year-old could have done to deserve such an accolade in one of the most technically complex intellectual fields of thought in the 21st century – Digital Marketing, but my kid really is a genius.

We also spoke to Azuzu's mother, Analytica Niharika, who did not waste any time giving her baby all the credit she deserves.

"You might be wondering what a two-year-old could have done to deserve such an accolade in one of the most technically complex intellectual fields of thought in the 21st century – Digital Marketing, but my kid really is a genius. We only provide her the basics like naps, burpees, and fashion consultancy, and she does the rest. She has started many of the social media hype cycles and fads that are now common among the toddler community, such as wearing oversized shades while crawling on the floor, putting on a huge pink bow on a bald head, and not recognising her dad whenever he shaves his beard," she said.

Azlazin had much to say about what her future holds, but she insisted on playing peekaboo with this reporter around her dad's shoulder instead. Her mother answered for her, however, saying, "We are worried she's growing up too fast. Once she reaches the age of four and stops being automatically the cutest person in the room, we will have to shift strategies. We are already looking at the possibility of becoming toy reviewers on YouTube, which would be an excellent platform from which to launch the career of a teenage influencer."

On this topic, Azuzu finally opened her mouth, and blew raspberries.  

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