‘Digbaji’ celebrity Jaded Khan tumbles head over heels into mathematics
Michael Jackson created the Moonwalk. Tom Cruise likes to run like crazy in every movie. Shakira has hips that don't lie. Clint Eastwood was famous for his line, "Are you feeling lucky, punk?" Chris Brown likes to hit women. Every celebrity has such a "thing". A thing that makes them known for eternity.
Jaded Khan, actor, celebrity, singer, self-proclaimed ladies' man, Rolex ambassador, and earring specialist has literally catapulted himself into fame last week for creating such a "thing". His claim to fame is that of doing cartwheels wherever he goes. He does cartwheels on stage, out of helicopters, into public restrooms, and anywhere else people normally just walk. Because, why not?
Why walk when you can potentially break your neck? Fans love danger, the potential for instant death. Jaded Khan has recently updated his Weakipedia profile adding "digbaji specialist" among his many skills.
Last week he set the internet on fire by plugging his internet router into a wall socket that already had a television, hair dryer, cooker, hair straightener, microwave, and something called a video cassette player plugger in.
His apartment caught on fire along with the internet but he used his movie stunt training to do cartwheels and tumble out the balcony. Experts estimate the cartwheels actually delayed him by four minutes.
With each cartwheel or digbaji, he would masterfully drop to the ground on his palms, twist his torso and flip his legs in the air. Then he would end up five inches behind where he started, destroying physics in the process.
Mathematicians across the world are confused as to how the numbers add up to subtract. The education ministry has since discarded the classic Bangladeshi math problem of a monkey climbing an oiled vertical pole for being too basic and outdated.
School children and monkeys everywhere are now relieved that that is a thing of the past, much like video cassette players.
Jaded Khan's digbaji is now the new progressive problem. Unfortunately, the new question for school children asks if a celebrity does 15 cartwheels but moves 5 inches back each time, how far has his career progressed?
No solution has yet been offered.