This week's horrorscope

ARIES

Some people think they know you but they don't know you are an orange, do they?  



TAURUS

Escaping yourself is cute, but have you tried loving yourself?  



GEMINI

Only the brightest flowers should adorn your bedside table.     



CANCER

Most cars looks the same but some cars look like a boat.



LEO

Music is the treatment you need not the one you deserve.     



VIRGO

Dragging your past into your present is only going to make you miss watermelons. 



LIBRA

When will you learn that feathers don't suit you?     



SCORPIO

Carnivores love humans.  



SAGITTARIUS

Blue may be the warmest colour to some, but green is the truest neutral shade.   



CAPRICORN

Life goes on. It doesn't matter if you couldn't melt your butter on time. 



AQUARIUS

Rust can settle anywhere, even in your tear ducts. 



PISCES

Scale up your progress and you'll scale down on life.