This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

Post apocalyptic worlds would be a nice place to live in if you were a cockroach.



TAURUS

Red is the colour of your fries, dipped in sauce and masala grind.



GEMINI

Elephants are in the room and oops, I just talked about them.



CANCER

Mind your own business, which is the sale of cheap fabric in remote locations.



LEO

I hear nothing. Bongo? 



VIRGO

Know your limits, integral!



LIBRA

Peter Parker got bit by a spider and look where it got him. You're afraid of lizards, Raju?



SCORPIO

Up, up, and away. Until gravity.



SAGITTARIUS

Rush to the hills because there's a flood coming. A flood of love.



CAPRICORN

Usher in the new days, the old days are aged.



AQUARIUS

Stoke my interest with your stories, adventurer.



PISCES

Hey, what do you say? Hey, what do I say?