This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

Don't drink milk, drink Moo Afza.

TAURUS

Why do you live in the city and not in my heart?  

GEMINI

Coconut water is good for your skin.  

CANCER

Something is wrong but I can't quite figure out what.

LEO

Your earphones belong to everyone else but you.  

VIRGO

If you're not going to read books, don't buy them.   

LIBRA

When will you learn to live your life through others?  

SCORPIO



So, you think you can dance better than a dolphin?  

SAGITTARIUS

Rings look good on your toes.  

CAPRICORN

Cowbells are my favourite kind of accessory.  

AQUARIUS

Drink and spill lots of tea.  

PISCES

Rubber bands are like hairbands only some hairbands do not have rubber in them.