This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

You are half way through with your perfect life.  

TAURUS

Nothing is going to break your heart or your legs.  

GEMINI

Lightening is a cool name for a dog.  

CANCER

Dancers are not meant to be non-dancers.  

LEO

Fly away with your friends to the nearest beach this week.  

VIRGO

Rolling down the hills is for people who are lazy. 

LIBRA

Rounding up all the dogs in your neighbourhood and tell them a bed-time story.  

SCORPIO

Sundays are not your best days.  

SAGITTARIUS

Love will come to you if you promise to give it some cake.  

CAPRICORN

Light bulbs can also work as idea generators.  

AQUARIUS

Going for a spin in your dad's car is not as cool as you think. 

PISCES

Try to bake but don't try to shade.