All my friends are getting married
Growing up, you are given a hypothetical checklist which poses as a life-size form of a completion bar; a standard of judging how "accomplished" in life you are if you may. The five steps – graduate, get a job, get married, have kids, and die – seem textbook material up until you grow up and actually have to do it.
Graduating becomes hard as you realise you're leaving behind the last free part of your life, you end up in a job you despise and your crippling trust issues strikethrough "marriage" on the checklist. Struggling in the pool of uncertainty that is life, one of your friends decide to take the plunge.
First and foremost, you find yourself feeling ecstatic with joy and let them know how genuinely happy you are to see them happy. You start planning out your bridesmaid duties and get yourself all pumped up for all the festivities ahead. This is the easy part. Enjoy this part for a wave of mixed emotions will soon be hitting you after. It usually varies according to your own personal beliefs and stance in life, but almost everyone deals with a certain level of downtime while going through this phase.
The most usual reason becomes the fear of them moving on and away from your life. Friends becoming distant after getting married shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, regardless adjusting to it is still pretty hard to do. However, you should remember if the friendship is strong enough it will stay. You can always make up subtle changes in routine to make it easier to stay connected for instance a catch-up meet once in a while. Moreover, you can always come clean and talk about your fears with your friend because chances are they are equally scared of this new life.
If you are single or rather sceptical towards marriage in general, it may feel like quite an ordeal to go through these ceremonies but frankly it shouldn't. Focus on how happy it makes you to see your friend tie the knot and embrace how proud you are to see them come this far. It is important to not let your negative perceptions of marriage keep you from fully supporting them throughout the process because God knows they need it from you now more than ever. However, be sure to give them your say if certain levels of concern is justified.
In a nutshell, weddings always bring out a plethora of emotions all around – some good, some bad. It is good advice to remember that whatever you're going through, your friend who's actually getting married is going through twice that in addition to the stress of fitting into their wedding attire. So be sure to be in your most supportive chirpy self, pumping them up for their big day like nothing else matters. For all the times you had to reimburse their faith in love, life and themselves, this is your last act of duty as being their wingman. Be sure to do it justice.
Veronica Gomes is a socially awkward sophomore. Feel free to trigger awkward encounters by reaching out to her at gomesveronica1997@gmail.com