Published on 12:00 AM, January 06, 2022

Turning 25: A disease haunting the youth

Photo: Orchid Chakma

Have you been experiencing a high curve in life? Have your latest years been mostly balanced and stable? Are you excited to start the real party of turning 25 years old?

Please check the list below for a new disease you catch when you're 25, the symptoms of which range from mild to life-threatening.

Love is easy, aunties don't care if you're busy

It is a common symptom to attend any wedding looking and feeling your best, only to be pinched back to reality by that not-so-subtle auntie or uncle innocently questioning your audacity to still remain unmarried. Worrying indications include your relationship holding no merit to the aunties, and their only concern being why you are still not married.

Everything feels a little dizzy

Social media has never felt more conflicting. Instagram stories show your juniors getting married, while everyone you know is busy updating LinkedIn statuses about earning yet another scholarship. The symptoms you feel may be similar to experiencing low blood pressure, where your head begins to feel heavy and the world sways in and out of focus while you try to gather your footing. Salt is recommended as a remedy for a quick but temporary fix to the dizziness.

Your PIN is bigger than your bank balance

At this stage, your condition may worsen rapidly, so beware and tread lightly. You may begin to experience a fast moving change in your bank balance. At some point, even your card PIN digits may be higher than the supposedly big funds you're checking out of your ATM. It is recommended that you stay home during this time and keep away from online transactions.

The quarter life crisis has hit the market

This stage may trigger the worst combination of thoughts in you involving fear, overthinking and hopelessness. This may be negatively stimulated by you making internal comparisons on whether you want to be an artist or an aeronautical engineer, which will only lead you further down a rabbit hole where there is no Alice and you are instead stuck for eternity. High caution is advised at this stage as patients tend to be at their most critical.

Unfortunately, there is yet to be any treatment that can provide long-term recovery for affected patients of the 25 Club – you simple age out of it. Some short-term home remedies recommended by doctors are long naps, journaling, taking online quizzes and binging super trashy reality shows where all the spicy drama momentarily takes your mind off the drama happening in your own life.

Please call our hotline 017-ADULT-ING for reporting any of these symptoms seen in an individual.