It’s just a phase and it’s great

Anyone who has crossed their adolescent years can admit that they've had at least one stage in their life when they were obsessed about a certain thing. More often than not, when they look back on it, they wonder why this was the case. Such obsessive, short-lived bursts of enthusiasm tend to be frowned upon and dismissed as being "just a phase".   

But what a lot of people don't seem to realise is how discouraging it can feel to hear these things.

It's more common to see teenagers going through these phases. After all, they are experiencing some major changes in their lives. For them, it is a very turbulent period of time and finding something to fixate upon can help them find their bearings even if it's just for a fleeting moment. 

For example, many teenagers go through an emo phase as a way to cope with their emotions. Listening to a specific genre of music, and embodying the aesthetic can give them an outlet to express themselves. It can help offer them some comfort when they're feeling lonely, and let them know that they're not alone.

But having someone disregard these feelings can leave a scar. Telling them that it's just a phase insinuates that it's a waste of their time, and overlooks how it might actually be helping them. 

For some, it can help them discover things about themselves that they never knew before. After dabbling in different interests and styles they might manage to find something that resonates with them deeply. It could potentially help them feel more comfortable in their own skin. Such phases don't just remain phases. It can eventually become a big part of their lives.  

But others around them who don't quite get it will still be reminding them that it's "just a phase". It's understandable if their interests revolve around something objectionable, promote problematic traits or stem from a morally grey area but as long as it's not hurting anyone, it's best to leave them be. It's not just a phase for them — it might just be who they are for the time being.

Not all phases necessarily have to be life-changing events. Someone might have had a phase during which they indulged in a certain kind of media, and they did it simply because they liked the genre. It was merely a matter of preference and has no deeper meaning. Maybe they look back fondly on those times, or maybe it makes them cringe. 

This is how many people justify their dislike of phases — that it's something they're going to grow out of eventually. But even if they do end up dropping it, at least they'll know that they gave it a shot. It just didn't stick around for long enough. 

It's easy to deem such periods as a waste of time, but at least they're going to come out of this experience with a better understanding of who they are.

Namreen is sick and tired. Send a reminder that life goes on at: namreen.shaiyaz@gmail.com