Moving to Bangladesh after growing up abroad

It's not easy to uproot your life from one country and start calling a completely different place "home". The feeling that you don't belong usually comes with the culture shock as a package deal.

I grew up in Saudi Arabia and moved to Bangladesh only a few years ago. I had to leave behind my closest friends, and the environment I was so familiar with, to shift to a place I barely knew. Soon after my arrival, I had a bone to pick with restaurants that called any random wrap a shawarma, and any rice with orange food colouring kabsa.

Growing up abroad also meant missing out on growing up with extended family members. I never really had the chance to become friends with any of my cousins, or celebrate festivals with them.

Even now, we are practically strangers. 

Many times, when speaking in Bangla, I have been told that I mispronounce certain words. This puts me in a minor existential crisis, having realised I'd been saying these words wrong for about 20 years. However, I soon understood that wrongly speaking a language would be the least of my worries.

One of the first challenges I faced after moving to Dhaka was the need to get used to the chaos. I was accustomed to a quieter life back in Al Jubail, Saudi Arabia.

Here, no matter where I go, I always feel like there are too many people. I start to feel out of place and soon realise that perhaps I am too soft to survive this city. I stopped being as soft-spoken as I used to be when I realised that that trait has little to no value here.

My safety concerns have increased drastically since moving. I still have to give myself a pep talk before crossing the roads and feel the need to stay on guard every second I spend outdoors. Although it is not easy for women in Saudi Arabia either, I feel it's significantly more difficult in Bangladesh due to the additional challenges.

On the upside, I've met wonderful people during my time here. I've made new friends, learned new things, and I have a better understanding of the culture in Bangladesh now.

Settling into a new country, learning new norms and adapting accordingly was a difficult process, one that often confused and surprised me. There are things about my previous home that I'll always miss, and the people I grew up with there will forever have a special place in my heart.

For now, I'll cherish my old memories and focus on making new ones at my new home.

Nuzhat zones out every ten minutes. Tell her to snap out of it at nuzhatchowdhury07@gmail.com