What happens when you change homes a lot
Thanks to my dad's job in the military, my whole life has been an expedition, literally. He got posted to various places, and I had to travel with my family as well.
My dad's postings took me to places and not only did I master the skill of adaptability, I tried to ingrain myself into the culture I lived in as well. From my nanu bari in Mirpur 6, to the port city of Chattogram, I learned a lot about the subcultures, social connections, and ethnicities.
Psychologically, the influence of changing constantly was crucial. I have always been socially awkward, preferring to shy away from interactions and crowds. Going to new places, I used to be afraid in front of strangers. Fortunately, things improved with my mom's encouragement. Inspired by support and sincerity from the locals, I made some truly amazing friends in Chattogram.
As I started to make more and more friends, my social skills improved too. I found myself trying to interact with kids my age back then, trying to know them on a personal level whilst being empathetic during their time of needs. It came along pretty well; all the kids, including me, had become a sub-society of our own within our neighbourhood.
Life was magical, until my dad was suddenly posted out of Chattogram, at a time when I was finally breaking the shackles of my social anxiety.
The constant uprooting has left a big mark on me, emotionally. Nostalgia became a staple in my life. Sometimes, I feel like an alien, living in my own bubble and craving for something which, deep down, I know is impossible to get back to. I now feel afraid for no reason at all, and that makes me even more isolated.
As a result of undercooked friendships and emotional bonding, my personality is an arrested development, capable of both the dazzling and the dumb at the same time.
Social anxiety has become a thorn in both my personal and professional lives. My friendships now are either really robotic, or so deep and emotional that these relationships end up sabotaging by themselves, causing even more pain to my already distressed mind.
Constant uprooting of homes has been tough, but it hasn't been all doom and gloom. In fact, I now feel thankful to an extent. Chattogram was a true eye-opener for me. I got to know various cultures, lifestyles, and traditions.
The lessons learned from frequently travelling around have enriched my knowledge. I would have loved to change many things, if I could, in the past. But that's what life is all about, facing the challenges to carve your niche, isn't it?
Inqiad is a long suffering Manchester United fan and a self-proclaimed Targaryen. Contact him at inqiadali007@gmail.com