Bangladesh needs a protest to protest the protests

If you have been keeping up with the news, you would be forgiven for thinking that Bangladesh's national pastime is becoming "who can protest the loudest." With protests popping up on every street corner like pop-up shops, it's time to address the real issue: the need for a protest to protest the increase in protests.

"Let's protest until there are no protests left to protest"

Until very recently, protests in Bangladesh had a purpose. People gathered for climate action, fair wages, or the right to exist without bumper-to-bumper traffic. Nowadays, it seems like there's a protest for everything. Not enough attention? Protest. Too many digbazi by Zayed Khan? Protest. Not enough shopping? Protest. A weary protester said, "I tried to join a march against high gas prices, but accidentally ended up in a rally complaining about the traffic caused by all the other protests. I think I'm protesting now, but I don't even know what for!"

The way protests are becoming both the solution and problem, we need to launch "Protest About Protests" (PAP).

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Say hello to freedom, courtesy of Gen Z and Gen Alpha!

Tips for successful anti-protest protests:

Banner Strategy: "Stop All Protests Now!" has been overdone. We need to think outside the box with slogans like "Enough with the chanting, start with the planting!"

Chant Like You Mean It: A good protest chant needs rhythm and irony. Try something like, "Hey hey, ho ho, these endless protests have got to go!" It's meta, catchy, and applies to almost any scenario!

Protest Attire: Comfort is king. Since you'll be on your feet all day protesting, invest in quality footwear, and maybe a hat or umbrella. After all, who knows when the weather might start protesting too?

Art of protest scheduling and venue

With so many protests, it's become essential to book our slot and spot very quickly. As the National Protest venue, 'Mamar barir abdar,' is getting booked by the second, there's a high chance for you to hear, "You guys are late for PAP." Not to worry though. We can just start protesting about 'Why there is no protest slot to protest!' That works, right?

It's clear that Bangladesh is facing a crisis: a crisis of too many crises to protest. Perhaps it's time we protest smarter, not harder. A well-placed hashtag on social media could do wonders — #EnoughIsEnough is already trending, after all!

Until then, "Stop Protesting My Protest About Your Protest!"