Satireday
New iPhone comes with more features, but nothing that makes you actually attractive
The radical iPhone 15 launched a week ago with features that boggled the mind of smartphone users a decade ago. Apple adopted the USB-C charger that was first seen in 2014 when China’s Le smartphone launched it. No one remembers because the powerpoint presentations were not as polished back then.
Additional brutality commissioner reprimanded for beating the wrong kind of people
The six-time-heavy-baton champion Additional Brutality Commissioner (ABC) Marum-Ek-Ghushi struck again (quite literally) and this time the blow unfortunately fell upon Chapasthan Young Men (CYM) members. The consequences were dire.
Satire / Bangladeshi toddler named in Shorbes 3 under 3
Azlazin Zafriath, a two-year-old from Dhaka, has been named in the prestigious Shorbes 3 under 3 2023 list.
Structure thought to be incomplete bridge was a completed shade all along
Ten years ago, construction of a bridge started over a fully functional road in the Kauwwasaki upazila of Bangladesh costing the people a hefty Tk 55 lakh. It stopped midway causing massive confusion, consternation and other difficult words to pop across the minds of IELTS students of that area.
Husband keeps making excuses to get on expressway, wife fed up
A wife in the capital has become exasperated following the opening of the elevated expressway as her husband refuses to take any other road, even though the expressway doesn’t yet serve the areas where they live or work.
Deshi Christopher Nolan ready with local Oppenheimer to fight against imported Jawan
Whoever thought the battle between Oppenheimer and Barbie was over, is actually living in a fool’s paradise.
Management trainee embraces ‘ownership mindset’, takes home office equipment
Police have raided his house for the equipment but none was found. The police, unsure what to do next, arrested him anyway, because why not!
Cities that looked like Europe from the sky now looking like the Pacific
Once one of the greatest actors of our galaxy compared the cities of Chapasthan with those of Europe. He was so overawed by the celestial appearance of his country’s cities that he could not resist rating European cities lower.
My time on the sidewalk
The Sun shines, a relentless yellow, My watch strikes 8:04am, The little window to escape wasting away For eternity or till 10:20am,
Management realises after 15 years employee does not do anything
The management of a biscuit factory learned yesterday that an employee who has been working at the head office for the last 15 years has actually done nothing all that time.
Youth forced to start eating healthy as soft drink prices cross Tk 100
Earlier with the price hike of potato chips, inflation dawned upon the youth of Bangladesh for the first time. But our young generation somehow recovered from that inflation and continued to devour packaged food like the very concept of cholesterol doesn’t exist. However, as the price of 1-litre soft drinks has finally hit the sweet spot of 100 bucks, our youth is going through their worst crisis to date -- having to live without soft drinks.
Millennial boss tries to joke with Gen Z employees, gets reported
Late last week, an assistant manager at a design agency called Creative Business Boys (CBB) was reported to HR by his subordinates.
Student regrets praying for rain instead of the ability to finish her studies in time for exams
Despondent and on the verge of tears, Promila Haider regretted making the wrong prayers the week before her university final exams. Suffering from the scorching summer heat, the 24-year-old literature student spent a lot of her time in the Cineplex theatres to cope with insufferable heat and the crushing uncertainty of what to do with her degree once she graduated.
Woman surprised bananas have shrunk during recession
A local woman was shocked, surprised and astounded when a local shopkeeper said locally grown bananas now cost Tk 70 per ounce. It was only Tk 70 for half a dozen last week. Inflation has hit the town hard making it difficult for the folk of Lalmayshia to grab a bite with their corn flakes and high fibre, low carbohydrate muesli breakfast.
Concert organisers play victim after things go wrong for 100th time
After attendees were left suffocated and sick in a mismanaged concert for the hundredth time in a row, the event management firm unSound Event Management has decided to play the victim yet again.
Rain destroys Dhaka drivers’ muscle memory: a study
Drivers on Dhaka roads lose the ability to switch on muscle memory the moment there is more than 5mm of rain, according to an in-depth study.
Girls’ football jerseys leave several injured, doctors helpless
The days of getting injured by just deadly weapons or human assault are past as Bangladesh witnessed its first ever case of people sustaining serious injuries from the shorts worn by female footballers. Doctors said these injuries were incurable.
Aliens to follow mosquitoes’ example to finally start winning in movies
Aliens who have been shown in movies invading the United S of A, have now set their eyes on one of the world’s most mosquito-infested countries, dubbed “Mini Singapore”.
Sick of receiving bribes, man starts eating money when offered
Lobhi Chaibeshi Takai (Japanese on his mother’s side), was getting increasingly anxious as days went by.
Bangladeshi marketing execs unhappy as Barbie’s viral marketing actually cost money
“Viral content should be a breeze. Just post something, give it a Facebook boost, and boom, it goes viral,” explained a perplexed Rashedul Jeeyam, the GM of Tubs Standard Media and Communications.
From bird to X: Bangladeshi boy sues Twitter for appropriating his love story
Who would have thought that the introduction of Twitter’s new logo, from blue bird to X, would trigger a Bangladeshi boy and give birth to a new controversy?
