Government losing ‘Aandar’ control trying to bring it under control

In an unprecedented twist, the government keeps losing Aandar control while attempting to bring it under control. Aanda, or egg -- whatever people choose to call it doesn't matter anymore as they are having breakfast without eggs.

As the prices of eggs keep skyrocketing, people have to spend the lion's share of their salaries to buy the "daily essential". People of Chapasthan 2.0 have been witnessing a series of "never-before-seen" events, thanks to this eggflation.

Rumours have surfaced that those who once tried heart and soul to amass cryptocurrency are now stockpiling eggs instead. Some politicians are allegedly hoarding eggs illegally for their next election campaign.

Wishing anonymity, an activist of a political party, said, "Yes, our leaders have ordered us to collect eggs by any means necessary as we are planning to offer people one egg for one vote in the upcoming election."

In an astounding turn of events, parents of students are no longer upset about their children obtaining eggs in exams. "We need eggs, not marks. I am glad that my son scored 00 in mathematics and English. At least the headache of his breakfast for the next two days is gone now," said a mother proudly showing off her son's marksheets in front of cameras of millions of TV channels and content creators outside Very Hard to Spell School and College.

Several incidents of people being looted while going home after buying eggs have been reported in Dhoka City. Chapasthan Egg Snatchers Community (CENC) has been formed by a group of miscreants, raining terror on egg buyers in Mohammadpur area.

In this saga, even chickens have come forward to make the situation more cinematic. With the help of AI, chickens have been heard demanding their royalties as they came to know that their eggs had been running riot among the people of Chapasthan 2.0.

"Those who once underestimated our Aanda, I mean eggs, are now crying for it. Just because we are birds doesn't mean we don't need money," a chicken surrounded by high-level security said.

Despite all of these, the government seems indifferent to this crisis. Egg prices have always been an underrated (Aanda-rated. No? okay) issue and this government also underestimated this. Consequently, they are losing their control over egg prices, despite once confidently declaring, "Aanda is under control".

This Satireday correspondent attempted to gather some comments from government officials. When asked, an official from the Ministry of Meat, Fish and Eggs remarked, "Aanda has always been under control. It's cheaper than even water."

When further pressed about the government's apparent loss of control as the prices were mounting by leaps and bounds, he said, "We are perfectly in control. Even chickens don't lay eggs unless we ask them to do so."