Satireday
Satire / Visa aspirants buying air coolers to get quick approvals
Economists, as well as those who don’t bother to understand economics, have been baffled by the findings of a recent market research which showed a sharp rise in people buying air coolers even before the heatwave started..They were shocked, more mercilessly than the shock Real Madrid gave
Athletes stop learning new skills at age 28
Shattering conventional wisdom, a Bangladeshi sports scientist claimed that his new research proves that athletes stop learning as soon as they turn 28.
Low salary and poor increment actually beneficial to employees: study
Money apparently is not the root of all evil. Neither is it the ticket to happiness. In fact, money ceases to matter at all now that watermelon in Dhaka costs more than the monthly food cost of a family of chickens.
‘My husband isn’t husbanding right’
I had an arranged marriage. My parents picked out the best suitor for me and I trusted them.
Man escapes Dhaka after attending fire safety workshop
An employee of a paper company in the capital’s Farmgate has been absent without official leave ever since he attended a fire safety workshop at work.
Employer refuses to give workers raises because they will get mugged if they have money
A car company has stunned industry insiders with a revolutionary new approach that improves workers’ quality of life and reduces the pressure on company coffers all at once. By refusing to give employees their scheduled raises and keeping them dangerously close to the edge of poverty, Stellar Motors -- Dhaka’s largest automobile importer -- is confident it can reduce the risk of employees being robbed in the streets and losing the little wealth they might still possess.
When Readers Write / Families with less than 3 members to merge
The government has recently announced its plan to address the problem of small families.
Organisations tackle inflation squeeze by introducing ‘Pay-To-Work’ policy
February has passed but employees at several major business firms have still not received any yearly increment or contract renewal. Employees are having difficulty making ends meet, what with rice and essentials doubling in price. Transport costs have gone up even though diesel price has been reduced by Tk 0.75.
Seeking affordable dates, Bangladeshi opens Tinder account
A man from Basabo has opened a Tinder account after he learned from one of his friends that dates on Tinder and Bumble were more attainable than in the current market.
Chintito since 1995 / Truth shall prevail
And so now the Pope is wrong because he is calling for peace and trying to save lives. He advised Ukraine to show the “white flag”, which other than meaning surrender is also a symbol of peace.
Girlfriend changes angle, trained boyfriend confused, organises human chain
Ahmed Reza organised a human chain last week demanding the ban of all social media usage for couples in ongoing relationships. He thinks social media hides and distorts reality.
Keep sports clean of politics
When we were young, that for some of us is a long time ago; so long ago that you may need binoculars to see the 1960s. A magazine was published then, from most probably Karachi, Sports Times, I am trying to recollect. It was so long ago that today’s net search has zero relevant hits for that title and era. Unfaded in human memory, however, for the last over sixty years is the mast slogan of that very popular publication, “Keep sports clean of politics”.
‘Digbaji’ celebrity Jaded Khan tumbles head over heels into mathematics
Michael Jackson created the Moonwalk. Tom Cruise likes to run like crazy in every movie. Shakira has hips that don’t lie. Clint Eastwood was famous for his line, “Are you feeling lucky, punk?”
Bureaucracy marathon receives great response
Chapasthan’s capital witnessed the Bureaucracy Marathon this Friday, an event designed to showcase the bureaucratic madness ingrained in daily life.
Managers rejoice as study shows Artificial Intelligence can’t replace Genuine Idiocy™
A study has come out from the University of Where the Sun Don’t Shine, proclaiming that Artificial Intelligence will never be able to replace Genuine Idiocy™.
‘It’s disgraceful that rain did not fall in time’
Sri Lanka batter Angelo Mathews has termed it disgraceful and atrocious that the rain did not fall before New Zealand beat them in their World Cup match in Bengaluru on Thursday.
Economic success now defined by how often men change the colour of their car
Economists worldwide have ditched traditional metrics like GDP that were always used to identify prosperity of a nation. It is no longer in fashion. Woke activists have been especially relieved now that the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) concept has been thrown out the window because they find it offensive to have the word “Gross” in their regular conversation. But also, a new theory is now in place.
Boss shocked that employees not happy about being paid 5 peanuts instead of 4
Employees at a local digital marketing agency have expressed shock after being offered a raise of one peanut.
Palesreal the only solution, says privileged American
The current crisis in the middle east has a simple solution: Palesrael.
Celebrities of Bangladesh offering support
Celebrities all across Bangladesh and other fortunate places under the Guava Convention have come together to offer support. They have held a demo kabaddi match as a press conference to show that they are concerned.
5 things to do when there is a Bangladesh match on TV
You know there is a Bangladesh match on. You’ve cleared up your schedule, it’s a world cup match after all. Eight hours with nothing to do but lean back and enjoy the men in green in action.
