Altruistic prisoners demand work-from-jail permission

When the world is busy inventing and discovering new things, the people of Chapasthan 2.0 are busy coming up with new demands with every passing hour.

Like millions others, this time prisoners raised their voices with a new demand leaving everyone dumbfounded. They demanded to be allowed to work from jail.

"Look, you guys fulfilled employees' demand of letting them work from roads due to unbearable traffic jam previously. Now just let us do our yeoman's service from jail," Salluman X. Bohemian, the outspoken spokesperson of Altruistic Criminals Community, a group of prisoners who, after a brief stint behind bars, have been struck by a sudden urge to dedicate their lives to humanitarian causes.

Investigations revealed that prisoners turned into good human beings ever since they discovered the bars in front of them. They argued that they couldn't contribute to society unless they were freed. The group, headed by Salluman, demanded their immediate emancipation, irrespective of the severity of their crimes.

"Many things to do before I sleep," sighed Fall Oak, another prisoner, his voice full of poetic despair. "Let me go. I have an internet cable disconnected for ages just waiting for me to reconnect it. The people need me and my intellect as well.

"Don't worry. We have already connected the wire," replied the jailer.

"Oh, you did? Then just let me work from here. I can direct my employees remotely from the cell so that my beloved people never have to face internet outages again. I will make sure the internet flows like the water of Niagara Falls," Fall Oak continued his pleas.

Majhi Bellim, another altruistic inmate, wiping tears of patriotic devotion, said, "Although the internet connection is a bit slower here, it will not be a problem for me to serve my fellow countrymen. I have always been a selfless person. I cry every day, not because I am behind bars, but because I cannot work for my people. If the authority cannot set us free, at least allow us to work from here."

Such demands went viral. People have been appreciating such a bold demand. When this Satireday correspondent hit the streets to gather public opinions regarding such a "never heard before" demand, Tausif, a pedestrian said, "We should be proud of our criminals. Show me another country where prisoners want to work for the people, that too from jail.

"I think, not only do they deserve the permission to work from jail, but they also deserve a cosy chair with a mesmerising view from the window," Maria, an office-goer, said.