Bill and Melinda Gates, Hugh and Deborah Jackman, and more recently, A. R. Rahman and Saira Banu. What are "grey divorces" and why are they suddenly trending?

Grey divorces — those occurring after the age of 50 — have been steadily rising over the years, reflecting social changes such as increased life expectancy, changing marital expectations, and higher financial independence among older people. Occurring late in the game, these bring unique emotional and social challenges for divorcees and their families, shifting family dynamics and wreaking havoc on mental health.

Rising trends and causes

For many, children are the source of connection. However, as they leave home, couples are often faced with the "empty nest syndrome," realising they have grown apart and have nothing in common. Shifting expectations and greater independence, especially for women, also play a crucial role in raising divorce rates in older couples.

Women often ask, "Why stay in a bad marriage when I have a life to live?" These thoughts usually occur once the couple is free of the burden of raising children.

Where infidelity is one obvious factor that strains relationships, financial infidelity, including covert spending or mismatched retirement plans, is another. Further damaging relationships are chronic health issues in one of the partners. A disturbing study has shown higher divorce rates when wives face chronic illnesses, indicating gender disparity.

Surprisingly, despite the flak young couples receive for being flighty and impatient, divorce rates have generally declined for them, while baby boomer divorces have been on an upward trajectory, with the numbers doubling since the 1990s.

Emotional and social consequences

Grey divorces often lead to a shift in family relationships. Research shows that fathers tend to lose contact with their adult children after divorce while mothers reinforce bonds with their children after separation, highlighting a gender disparity in post-divorce family dynamics as well.

Estrangement from children also plays a crucial role in the mental health struggles of divorced parents. While fathers most often face a higher risk of isolation, reduced life satisfaction, and consequently depression when they lose regular contact with their children, the mental well-being of the mother also takes a significant hit.

Coping mechanisms and mental health impacts

Divorce can be a heavy blow on both parties involved but women tend to report higher levels of psychological distress. Finding a new partner may offer temporary relief but the emotional and mental health benefits are often fleeting, especially for those who are more involved and living in blended family systems.

Maintaining close contact with children and building a strong support system is critical for emotional recovery. Social ties and a steady partnership can help alleviate the negative effects of grey divorce on one's psyche. Making time for work or taking a renewed interest in self-care and hobbies can also help in managing stress.