Ah, Eid — the time for feasting, festivities, and facing a room full of well-meaning relatives who treat your personal life like a Netflix series they're emotionally invested in. You came for the biryani and shemai, but your uncles and aunties came for answers: When are you getting married? Here's a fool proof guide to escaping this annual Eid interrogation with your sanity intact.

Deploy the food defence strategy

When you sense the first auntie gearing up with that question, act fast! Stuff your mouth with kebabs, biryani, or even an entire shahi tukra if needed. Nod solemnly while pointing at your overflowing plate. The goal? Make it physically impossible to answer. If they persist, mumble something incomprehensible and pretend to chew dramatically.

Reverse psychology

Before anyone can ask you, flip the script! Approach your nosy uncle with enthusiasm: "Chacha, when is your son getting married? What about your daughter? What's taking so long?" Keep pressing until they retreat. If done correctly, they'll remember they have urgent business in the other room.

The fake busy tactic

Carry a notebook, or better yet, keep your phone glued to your ear. When approached, dramatically whisper, "Yes, boss, I'll send the report soon. Just dealing with some investors right now." Make sure to furrow your brows and shake your head, so they assume you're deeply involved in something important — like stocks or the fate of humanity.

Pretend to have a mysterious love life

Lean in close and say, "It's complicated." Then sigh deeply. If they push for details, shake your head and mutter, "you wouldn't understand." This is guaranteed to confuse them just enough to move on to their next victim.

Redirect the conversation to politics or drama

Nothing derails a marriage interrogation like a heated debate. Casually drop, "So, what do you think about the latest fuel price hike?" or "Did you hear about that shocking celebrity scandal?" If lucky, they'll be so engrossed in arguing, they'll forget all about your non-existent wedding plans.

Recruit an escape partner

Find a fellow unmarried cousin or a supportive sibling. Create a distraction plan — maybe one of you accidentally spills juice, or suddenly announces a fake emergency. If needed, develop secret signals like a double eyebrow raise or a discreet head shake to communicate distress.

Just say something so outrageous they give up

If you're really cornered, go all in: "I'm waiting for my soulmate to find me through a dream." Or "I'm considering a solo wedding." It's a new trend. If that doesn't work, try "I'm actually married, but it's top secret." Then walk away mysteriously.

Embrace your inner philosopher

Look dramatically into the distance and say, "Marriage is but a social construct, a fleeting illusion in the grand tapestry of time." If they still don't leave you alone, sigh and say, "Perhaps I am already married… in another dimension."

Ultimate exit strategy

If all else fails, dramatically look at your watch and exclaim, "Oh no! If I don't leave now, I'll be stuck in traffic for hours!" Grab some extra sweets for the road, and escape before the next interrogation starts.

At the end of the day, Eid is about family, love, and dodging unsolicited marriage advice like a ninja. Stay strong, eat well, and remember — next Eid, they'll probably still be asking the same question. Happy Eid and good luck!