Congratulations to you, my dear countrymen, welcome to heaven. 

But wait, heaven is…dark? One might be forgiven for thinking that here in Bangladesh at the moment, as cyclical power cuts literally leave millions in the dark for hours, and fuel prices make others see stars. It might become cheaper to buy a vehicle than the actual costs of buying a week's fuel for it on a consistent basis. So, get walking, go green, when better than now? 

I was inadvertently listening (eves-dropping?) in on a conversation, where someone from a very privileged area of Dhaka was wondering what was going to happen to the world where places like Cape Town, and entire countries like Sri Lanka and Pakistan have people suffering through 10-hour stretches of load shedding. Had to hold my tongue— the same is happening in a lot of areas just outside of Dhaka too! (And some "less important" areas within, no points for guessing which ones.) But perhaps, it is not a problem because in heaven such as ours, the pesticide and chemical infused glow-in-the-dark trees and glistening oil spills and radioactive pollution in the rivers will light the way. 

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Perks of living in Dhaka City

Money is not important in heaven, so we have been told. Which is why as the Taka devalues, the social media population without much of it celebrates the birth of a Dhaliwood actress' child, and very important people catching fish. However, those who are holding all the money, carry it away in truckloads to their other homes not in heaven, in the Begum-paras around the world, and banks with a reputation for not asking too many questions.

A dozen eggs are about TK 150 or such now, onions are Tk 300/kg, potatoes Tk 35/kg and green chilli at Tk 280/kg, and a single green coconut is Tk 100. We must then, assume that these are all heavenly in taste and nutrition, otherwise why the soaring prices?

Probably also because money is irrelevant in heaven, it is acceptable to have large chunks of the population making do with less than Tk 100 daily average incomes per family member, have workers forced to strike for any pay structure revisions and also have thousands standing in line for any relief, and many middle-income families just one emergency, be it one with health or job, away from abject poverty.

Who needs money in heaven? No one, which is why it is all flying away to countries with offshore banking services, surely, they need it more.

Welcome to heaven, guys, at least someone's version of it.