6 secrets to a happy relationship

Love is undoubtedly the strongest emotion a human can feel. It is the most tumultuous too! And of course, you don't need any occasion to talk about love and relationships! 

"What is love?" asked our teacher at a literature class once. None had any answer. Then he replied himself,“Love is something abstract, isn't’ it?”

Yes, it is abstract but when it feels it feels really hard and the most concrete. Love may cause you pain that surpasses all other at times. It is perhaps the only emotion that makes us cry. Whether we are crying for any failure or a lost loved one, we are definitely crying for love. As even the 3rd grader who is crying for not securing good marks is crying because he loves his parents and their expectations upon him.

We know that love essentially is the same whether it is the love that we feel for our parents, siblings, children or for our beloved. But the extent and nature of the feeling are very different in each situation. However, my present concern today is what we term as the romantic love between whom we traditionally call lovers.  

Love has been one of the most common themes of all literature and art. All throughout our literary creations we have seen great texts revolving around the pain, sorrow and heartaches that love is often associated to produce. And in all of our lives, none can deny that they have not suffered for love. Whether love unrequited or the constant up and downs of any relationship, the struggles may come from external forces like family conflicts or from the internal clashes between the two love birds.

So, what can we do other than just bear and endure? Is there really anything that we can do to avoid such difficult times in a relationship or marriage? How can we sustain the profound meaning and fulfillment that love offers to us? Let's delve deep into the matter.

Attitude-Generosity and Kindness

One recent study conducted by John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington have found out that the two most important characteristic traits for a lasting relationship are generosity and kindness. We may also say that these two forms the kernel of every lasting and permanent relationship. It is not that you constantly have to do some acts of kindness and generosity, rather strive to hold an inner attitude formed of these two virtues in day to day interactions. 

Faith

Ours is a time when we are facing an intense lack of faith in every circle of life. The intensity of religious faith is sharply on the decline. Along with it, modernity has also brought faithlessness within the human relationships. We are experiencing the breaking down of marriages and family bonds in excessive amount. But during these times of chaos and confusion, we need the strength of faith all the more severely. It is only faith in ourselves and in each other that can steer one relationship through the emotional turbulence that it often brings forth in our lives. 

Patience and Endurance

But it is also true that there aren’t any relationships where disagreements and bitter arguments will not ensue. There will be times of turbulence, naturally. But the formula is to hold tight and be fully quite to let the moments of chaos pass by. You have to endure the pain for the moment, yes; but after a while, you will see for yourself that things were so silly over which you were fighting. Every successful relationship is an outcome of sustained hard work. Always remember the things about your partner which made you fall in love in the 1st place, these moments are temporary but those aspects of your lover are still there, aren’t they? 

Freedom and Understanding

Mostly in this present era when the drive for the equality of sexes are being most prominently voiced then realizing each other's freedom of choice and way of life is of utmost importance. But to acknowledge freedom there must at first come an understanding of each other's thoughts, ideas and choices in life. So, whenever, you face any situation of disagreement, sit together over a cup of tea or anything that you may like, and try to have a walk in each other’s shoe. Things will sort themselves out you will see!   

Unconditional Love

Love naturally is jealous and insecure. This causes the majority of clashes that lovers encounter in a relationship. To deal with these clashes born out of such negative emotions the love has to reach beyond the limits of the mundane to the higher realms of the unconditional. In that state of love, you will love purely with no obligations involved. You will accept love just the way it is, without any self-limiting expectations- free and boundless. There will be no jealousy nor any insecurities.

Getting Out of Toxicity

After trying all you can to sort things out in a relationship, if things are still not working out and you are again and again facing painful phases of disharmony then you should also learn to respect the way out of a toxic relationship. We all make mistakes in life and ending up in the wrong type of relationship is the direstof mistakes that one can do. So, if you are sure that it’s a mistake then continuing it will be another such dangerous mistake of the same magnitude. But before reaching the conclusion make sure to take the decision with a calm and quiet mind.