Now that I am old and have time,

I take stock of my life.

I crisscross as far back as my memory goes,

Along my chequered memory lane.

As I remember,

I have always been happy even without toys.

Happiness was my twin but, sadly,

Not without its dark shadow.

I would be saddened to see the suffering among the living –

The animals, insects, men and even plants.

I cried during my lonely hours;

I gave away my precious possessions; and

I even became one with them, sharing their pain.

And then I begged God again and again

For His mercy, but nothing changed.

All through my life

My happiness was burdened with sorrow.

It was like an ever-vigilant shadow of the light;

It was like a deep, dark abyss of the height.

All through my life

I remained a prisoner in my own solitary, dark cell.

Now, before I die, I want to break free from the chains.

I searched for so long, so deep in my soul,

Only to hear a whisper again and again:

'Thou shall know Truth and

Truth shall let you know that you are chained.'

Maybe I live in two worlds –

One of darkness and the other of light.

I am chained in one but free in the other;

I suffer in one but celebrate the other.

And when I die, I will be reborn in the other,

Without sorrow.

Tohon has been a regular contributor for the Star Literature page. Life's Invisible Battles is his recently published memoir.