How to make connections when you hate networking events

Earlier this year I went to an international HR conference with thousands of people I didn't know. Oh the irony of being a hater of networking events at possibly the biggest networking event of the season! Seated alongside successful 40-somethings, if I wasn't making uncomfortable eye-contact with other people at the table, I was trying very hard to keep up a pointless conversation with the only two people I knew there.

By the end of the afternoon, I was thoroughly embarrassed and had only made a couple of contacts. Call it a missed opportunity, but there's no point of doing something if it's going to make you miserable. So if you're a little like me, here are a few ways to work your way around networking.

Bring a networking wingperson

That co-worker who can talk to anyone, or the friend who's connected to everyone who's worth knowing on social media? Invite them to the next big scary social thing you have to attend. If you don't have one lined up, ask them if you could tag along the next time they attend a conference or meet-up. 

Having someone you know around will not only make you more comfortable, but a networking wingperson can introduce you to people and start conversations for you. Choose someone who knows exactly what it is you do and can talk about your work almost as well as you can. It would also help if he/she is more established in the industry than you are or has more contacts at the event than you do..

Make the most of the event anyway

So I might have not been a 100% honest when I said I didn't know anyone at the conference. Truth is there was a bunch of professionals I'd heard of or worked with indirectly. If you can, do some research beforehand—there's bound to be a speaker list if it's an event with panels or sessions, and if there's a Facebook event page, you can always browse the attendee list. Roughly establish what you'd like to say these people, e.g. "I really love the work you did on XYZ," or "We haven't met before, but I've heard so much about you from so-and-so", and make your move.

Get on Facebook

Being the socially awkward potato you are, Facebook is probably the best place to ask for intros. So far, every time I've needed help with a contact, my already existing connections have never failed me. And if you don't have a specific person in mind, ask your friends who they think might be able to help you out.

Ask for an interview

This one's for the anti-social bloggers and writers who would do anything to avoid networking. Interviews are great because you can prep what you want to say in advance. A friend actually landed an interview with a British pop star over email. Even the busiest corporate will feel flattered by such a request.

Once you're done, you can send your interview over to the relevant page of a newspaper (hint: Next Step), or get it published on Medium or LinkedIn Pulse if you don't have your own blog.

Host your own networking party

A tight-knit group keeps things intimate and is the best setting to meet new people. Remember your networking wingperson? Have him/her help you arrange a meal with a small group of people he/she knows, but who don't know each other. Or as The Muse advises: "invite five people and ask that they each bring one person you've never met".