I demand to know what happened to all the money I got as Eidi when I was a kid!

Now that I am a parent, I know. The power, or should I say the misuse of it, of recycling. Here's my silent message to all the other parents, if you have more kids than I do, please don't give my kids any Eidi as it is a negative gross margin on my part to reciprocate. If you have fewer kids than I do, then fire away by all means as I can stash away the excess. After all, those days are over when, to get into the world of tertiary level education, all you needed was a pen. 

Now there are coaching centers to train you to get into a coaching center that gives you a shot at life. Should you not quite make it, there is unfortunately nothing left but the lost kingdom. There really is no middle ground as we live in a totally binary society – the 'us and them' of George W. Bush-ism. And hence, we part ways from the very early days of our lives – English vs. Bangla medium, Bangla version vs. English version, Science vs. Humanities, public vs. private schools/universities, government vs. private sectors, Awami League vs. BNP, bloggers/atheists vs. fundamentalists and when it comes to tertiary level education, live or lose. 

Hence the proposition of getting into a university comes with its own value proposition. And so, there is the value added taxes on tuition fees. The ruckus is on that for private universities. Yes, there can also be a VAT on public universities. But that won't fetch much for the state coffers given that I paid nothing (and actually got a scholarship) to earn a four year degree from BUET (ok, so it took six years to earn it, thanks to session jams…that's my VAT – Valued Added through Time). 

Even at my public school, I paid Tk. 11 per month for lunch – and that too a pretty substantial one of paratha and vegetables (extra helpings courtesy of the be-friended class captains). And no, I'm not that old to have played ludo with Nawab Shirajuddowla.

But this VAT in education is no stranger to us. There already is VAT on English medium schools. Cap on annual fees at those schools? No problem. Just re-label the excess desired as 'Annual Maintenance Fees'. I guess the international language of choice and desire doesn't come for free. The choice is ours to make – pay the taxman or pay S@ifurs. 

Well, the VAT on tuition fees is there to stay. With 7.5 percent VAT added to private university tuition fees, the students can perhaps demand an automatic 7.5 percent added to their final CGPA upon graduating. 

And don't expect a concert for reprieve – The Beatles have already sung Tax Man. But perhaps there may be a VATman Forever…

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com