Whose song is it anyway?

So the saying goes (I wonder who said it) that behind every successful man there is a woman, behind every successful man in Hollywood there is a Jewish woman, behind every successful man in Bollywood there is a Gujrati woman, behind every successful man in Malaysia there is a Chinese woman, behind every successful CEO of an MNC who becomes a comedian there is a crazy woman, behind every successful man in Pakistan there is a Malala Yousafza and (chasing) behind every Malala Yousafzai there is an armed Taliban.

Wait! The last one wasn't meant to be the right counter to this otherwise rather sexist saying. So, who is behind Hillary Clinton if she's to make it to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? It is a man in front of many women who have been looked down upon by this very man – a man who, if he continues to entertain America with anything other than his hair style, should make it possible for us to hear: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome President Clinton and President Clinton." That is President Hilary Clinton and First Gentleman, er, First Man, er, First Dude (as Slick Willy himself jokes),…, uhm, never mind, President Bill Clinton. That's because once a POTUS (President of the United States), always a POTUS.

But do not underestimate Middle America and scared America. Donald Trump, with no less extravaganza while at the Republican National Convention, has the perfect woman behind him – perfect to the eyes. But as our ears slowly kick in, we hear the age old question of "Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?" transforms into its newer version: "Which came first, Melania or Michele's speech?" Did Michelle Obama and Melania Trump both go to the same coaching center (no, not the one for getting admission into Trump University)? Maybe Michelle Obama had a patent on her 2008 speech and it expired in 2016, thus making Melanie's speech a kosher, generic version. Of course, it could very well be that great women think alike. Then again, knowing Donald Trump, he may retroactively blame Michele Obama for plagiarizing Mealina's future speech and hence his classic "You're fired!" to Michele's speech writer. Or it could all be a conspiracy theory – after all, whoever becomes the President, will be 'plagiarizing' the same Oath of Office. After hearing the Melania speech, many a college student now feels vindicated.

But it's ok to copy, plagiarise, cheat and steal. Haven't we wished we could turn our eye balls a whole 90 degrees without moving our heads so that we could Melania-ise the answer sheet of the examinee at the adjacent table? Haven't we patted each other on the back for 'sailing through' the exams merely with those furtive glances? And so, it is perfectly ok that Lucky Akhand is languishing in a hospital, fighting for his life, in dire need for funds for medical bills, while we have all sung his classics, played his classics, enjoyed his classic being sung by the cover band not performing for free. Good that there are bank accounts and concerts to 'raise' money for his treatment. But please, the king deserves no charity, all funds going in are a fraction of the unpaid royalties that have been long, long overdue…

Come back Lucky!

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of ABC Radio's Good Morning Bangladesh and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club.

E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com.