Donald Duck: The Duck in Charge of the Free Cartoon World

Amidst an overwhelming outpour of support for former First Lady and the Loser, Shillary Clinton, the failed democrat nominee is now gearing up once again for the third biggest fight of her life, after the latest election debacle and what went down between her and Bill you know when. On the 1st of December, Shillary will kick-start her second campaign, with her running for the post of President of Disney World. While her stellar experience and background may once again seem appealing to the voters of Disney World, she's running against Donald Duck, whose jingoistic rhetoric (what?) has won him many supporters as detractors. While Shillary promises to unite Disney World once again, Donald Duck has pledged to bring back the jobs that the voters of Disney have lost to Universal Studios. 

Shillary's campaign banks not only her experience and gender but also hasn't shied away from flinging whatever they can at Donald and seeing what sticks. Donald Duck, to his credit, has been unfazed. “She's a loser. Maybe I'm just a duck, but I'm still human,” Donald Duck told a packed rally at the Magic Kingdom. “We are the largest single-site employer in the entire country and we plan to go bigger. I'm flying high, up in the sky, watching the world go by,” Donald Duck explained, putting together random words to generate a buzz among an educated, yet crass group of people who have been hiding in the middle of the park. When Shillary was asked how she planned on countering Donald Duck's growing influence, she once again resorted to cheap attacks. “As a woman, it offends me that Donald Duck doesn't even wear pants. All women who want to see Donald Duck wearing pants should vote for me. What do I plan to do differently? I plan on wearing pants,” Shillary said. 

“Shillary is an idiot. She plans to bring people from different worlds to our world and we cannot allow that. Look around you; isn't Alladin white? Aren't most of our princesses white? All Shillary will do is once again steal our jobs and give them to non-white people,” The Duck said during a debate to a riled up crowd all singing the famous lines of “White Man's Burden” penned by mega white imperialist Rudyard Kipling. “Disney should not be a place where we promote racism. Of course, lead actors can't be cast as anything other than white, because let's face it, we have made sure the Blacks and Latinos don't have enough money to come here and the tourists who do want to see white people. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have diversity. As a woman, I promote diversity and wearing pants,” Shillary commented. 

The BBG and CNNN, two of the top media houses to cover these elections, have both put Shillary on the forefront of the race, although they are obviously both lying as per the usual. A lot of criticism from Shillary has focused on Donald Duck's Job Creation Programme (JCB) by which he promises to boost employment by even more, promising four dollars an hour to all employees, much below the minimum wage. “Donald will create jobs, but at what cost? Four dollars isn't enough and as a WOMAN, I know that.” When told, Donald had a reply ready. “Four dollars is very little money when you got 'em; but a heck of a lot of money when you ain't got 'em,” he said, his response once again met with deafening roars. 

For Shillary though, the greatest obstacle is yet to be surpassed. The Great Mouse Detective has opened investigation into immense corruption by Shillary who may have sold Disney's new resort plans to Universal studios. “They are only emails. I'd rather have a President who secretly sells state secrets than one who will deport me,” Alladin, who many claim is a Muslim, said.