CLASSICS THAT SHOULD BE LEFT ALONE

Just when you thought Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was bad.

I'm not the biggest fan of classics, since most test my vocabulary and patience from time to time, but yes, a certain few have managed to linger with me over the years.      

I am not one of those book snobs with a clenched opinion that movie adaptations can never live up to its original sources. Despite my apathetic nature, I can't help but get annoyed when some classics are remade over and over again, making me yawn like an armadillo. It's high time certain classics be left alone, especially the following:

1. Romeo and Juliet: The classic Shakespearean tragedy about two adolescents falling in love despite coming from foe families is just disturbingly overdone. From Hollywood to Broadway musicals and now Bollywood, people should just get over with it already. It's a different age now, and thus the story simply doesn't appeal as much as it once did. I feel Shakespeare had greater dramas (A Midsummer's Night Dream, Julius Caesar, Othello to name a few) which for some odd reason are not paid as much heed as they deserve. To be honest, if I see one more version of this overemphasised tragedy, I'll shoot myself.

2. Cinderella: I'm sensing major haters after this, but I'm helpless. The story of a young girl living in unfortunate circumstances that are suddenly changed to remarkable fortune is almost every girl's favourite, including mine. Exactly why I am so protective of it. Most people fall short to get the actual message that it conveys: the importance of faith and goodwill. Instead, they focus on how a girl always needs a prince to conquer her anguish and how step-relationships are always for the worse. Also, I strongly feel no actors have ever done justice to Cinderella and her prince charming and thus it badly needs to be left alone.

3. Pride and Prejudice: One of my most favourite novels of all time, Pride and Prejudice, is timeless.  Whether it's Austen's quirky take on societal hypocrisy or the passionate romance between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy — it is simply a treat. Filmmakers are evidently aware of that since they can't stop adapting it over and over again. They should since Keira Knightley, Matthew Macfadyen and Colin Firth were amazing as the protagonists in their respective editions, which is difficult to match to. Also, the constant loose recreations, i.e. The Bridget Jones' Diary movies, are just tedious by now.

4. Emma: Austen's yet another ceaseless comedy, dealing with youthful conceit and the perils of misconstrued romance is probably loved by one and all. Except me, I suppose. The titular character, Emma Woodhouse has it all, and yet she fritters her time meddling and matchmaking, leading her to astray. There's always an argument that the part of Emma is great  when it comes to showcasing evolvement, but the character gets extra pompous and annoying with each new interpretation. Her unabashed shallowness makes me love to hate her. 

5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Roald Dahl's famous children's book featuring the adventures of a young boy inside a chocolate factory is an all-time favourite. But with its two very successful adaptations, a new interpretation (though not needed) should only add to it and no way diminish it.

Rafidah Rahman is a teeny-tiny Hulk, she's always angry and she's always hungry. A cynical dreamer and a food enthusiast, she's your everyday entertainment. Correspond with her at rafidah_topaz@hotmail.com