Of Big Fat Weddings

The recent news about Bangladesh being the least emotional country has been making the rounds these days. Many have found it a convenient index to explain away almost all the bad things we do. As a people we feel no emotions apparently. However, the index in question used a very narrow range of very first world problems to reach that conclusion. Questions included whether one slept well, learned something interesting, how much we laughed and what emotions we experienced, among others. In short, these are things Bangladeshis don't care much about. We are a shy, humble people who mostly feel the most important day (month) in a person's life is their wedding. Looking at a deshi wedding, it instantly dawns on the observer how emotional and multicultural we really are.

See, Bangladeshis have few places to really show off. Most land is used for apartments, roads are too broken for flashy cars, every expensive clothing brand has an exact same cheap knock off and over-priced restaurants serve terrible food. That leaves one surefire area to really make a splash and that's during your wedding. Who in their right minds would take out a large loan to dress up an old building and feed a bunch of people they hardly every meet? And that too on more than one occasion in a month? Well, us Bangladeshis of course. That's the way to start your lives, kids; in debt, the capitalist way! Nowadays though, traditional extravagance doesn't cut the mustard; we are getting every possible custom from every country in the world involved. If there was an index of countries with most tolerance for other cultures, Bangladesh would top that list. Provided it was patriarchal enough and only the cool Bangladeshis got to celebrate it (those damn northerners!).

A deshi wedding these days no longer entails the usual events. Those are now just the “blah” parts. Nowadays, we have engagement parties, engagement after parties, bachelor/bachelorette parties, more than one mehendis, sangeets, holud, holud after party, wedding/bridal showers, after wedding parties, the reception, the reception after party and then another party to conclude all other parties followed by an invitation to lunch or dinner for EVERYONE after the honeymoon is over of course to party again and relive the wedding that literally just happened. The parties within the parties make inception look like child's play and eventually a group of people who hardly ever met become best buddies for life or until the wedding is over, whichever comes first. Entire neighbourhoods are informed and well aware. The huge gap between power production and consumption is tossed to the winds as entire blocks are decorated with different coloured lights – for some odd reason.

Everyone present is highly emotional. When it comes to talk of the “dower”, less vulgar than dowry because the evil man makes the payment to the salt of the earth woman, almost everyone is emotional. And everyone cries. Some cry out of joy and others cry because the biryani wasn't good enough. Dance and painfully unfunny comedy routines meet deafening cheers and roars of approval. Everyone and I mean, literally everyone, gets in on the act.

Wear a white dress, a sari imported from India, bumping the latest English, Indian, Pakistani beats while rubbing shoulders with guests in fine imported clothes sitting on top of chairs made in China and flowers from wherever flowers come from, a Bangladeshi wedding is an explosion of emotions and global flavours. If real emotions are really taken into account, one must reiterate, that Bangladesh would become the go-to country for high emotions! If you doubt that, try gate crashing a wedding and informing those in charge of your actions; impassivity will be the least of your worries.