June Mayhem

As the Lion goes in for the kill of the Kangaroo, the Tiger gets ready for the semi-finals. This is one day when every Bangladeshi is an Englishman. Even those who can't swallow the notion of supporting a foreign team, simply look at England as Bangladesh in Fair and Lovely. Mir Zafar turns in his grave, grumbling: "And you all just blame me, huh?"

And so, the semi-finals see an Eid re-union of East India Company with England, India, Pakistan and Bangladesh among the final four. But while it took 190 years in 1947 to get England out of the Jewel in the Crown, it took only 37 overs in 2017 for team England to Brexit the tournament. Theresa May is surely dismayed after the mayhem elections post the Brexit Mayday call.

But for Bangladesh, there is a damper, literally, as it once again reminds us that it is the largest free gym. In summer it is a sauna and even before monsoon officially kicks in, it is a swimming pool. A day's rain and we come to a halt in the new port city, Karwan Bazar.

Cars are stuck, motorbikes whisk through the water like Pattaya-style jet skies, pedestrians are swimmers, jay-walkers are fined for jay-swimming, mobile courts are floating courts, iftar parties become sehri parties, CNG cruise ships ply the waters, the Hatirjheel water taxis extend their service all the way to Green Road, many hope for the Airport area Bonsai to become invisible under 1 foot water, Roads and Highways Department and BIWTA (Bangladesh Inland Water Transport Authority) contemplate a merger . . . Even Donald Trump muses over the notion of a naval base in Farmgate and in honour of the bumper to bumper traffic there, naming it Snarl Harbour.

Look at the brighter side. Bangladesh is a country of rivers and the flood water is the VAT.

But all this is in response to Henry Kissinger calling Bangladesh a 'bottomless basket'. We have come a long way into not only fixing the bottom, but also in converting the perforated sides into a solid surface. As a result, the bottomless basket is now a flat bottomed, water-tight bucket. Therefore, a bit of rain and we are filled with water to the brim (and overflowing).

So, go ahead. Bring in more sand and fill up all the low lands and make X City, Y City, Z City while Shantinagar becomes Shantinagar Marine City. And let's add to the party – dump all the plastic and polybags to clog up the storm drains. While we're at it, let's chop up the trees and chop up the top of the hills and just let the land slide…

But 150 dead, first responders among them? Let's see what our conscience does this time. I'm not holding my breath…

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of ATN Bangla's The Naveed Mahbub Show and ABC Radio's Good Morning Bangladesh, the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club.

E-mail: Naveed@NaveedMahbub.com