Why I will not log into Facebook this Eid

Shall I dare visit social media during the upcoming Qurbani Eid? I'd rather not. You see, my 'friends list' is quite diverse, which is not necessarily a good thing. From narcissists to stalkers, and from armchair activists to rebels without a cause, I deal with an awful lot on any random day. And come Qurbani, my Facebook becomes unbearable.

Here's why, and here's how peace can be restored.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Just because I am a fan of Game of Thrones does not mean I relish those graphic scenes of gore and blood. I may understand how exited you are about your cattle and that you cannot help but post a picture of your beloved animal. But I certainly have no taste in seeing it dead, half-split, and peeled off the next morning. Enjoy being a butcher for a day all you want; just refrain from showing off your dissecting skills on social media. 

And please oh please, don't upload videos of slaughtering! 

PAPA DON'T PREACH 

Eid-ul-Azha is a day when a few of my friends can't stop ranting. Of course, you are entitled to have your opinion. But putting up a mean 'status' that would hurt the sentiment of others (and this applies to people sitting on any end of the spectrum) is not the best idea. 

Indeed, our country sees serious drawbacks related to slaughterhouses and cleanliness. But instead of trying to find solutions, we sometimes rudely bash out on the ritual itself. 

WHY I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG

This is an extension of the previous point, but so important the point is, I reckon that it needs special mention. 

You don't think this ritual should be followed? Great! I respect your opinion. Everyone is entitled to have one — and express it too. But let's not start a brawl. Let's not make Facebook a table-tennis arcade where two parties go to and fro throwing every kind of logic and fallacy and slangs. Soon enough, table-tennis table evolves into wrestling. Nobody wins these 'matches' though; each party retires after reassuring themselves that they are right and that their egos are intact. 

This Eid, when you scroll onto such a post, why don't you try this two-step exercise: (a) take a deep breath; (b) continue to move your finger on the mouse, scrolling further without jumping into the war. 

This simple workout produces healthy mental attitude. Either that, or get a bowl of popcorn and enjoy being an audience. 

SELFIES... SELFIES EVERYWHERE 

Selfies, check-ins, and hash tags are rampant all throughout the year. It may come as a surprise to you, but truth be told, other people really do not need to know how amazing that new restaurant was, why you are 'feeling crying', how romantic tonight's rain is, how much you miss your 'jaan-pakhi', or how lucky you are to witness your baby's first poop.

The same goes for Eid. Last time, a friend would not let a hungry me eat until her long food photoshoot was over. She spent one hour cooking and one hour clicking, editing, writing caption, and uploading on Instagram. This Eid, I'm going to conspire by temporarily hiding her phone; teach her a lesson. And on the same note, instead of posting a 'cow-fie', just feed that cow and let the poor cattle have a little rest before its call comes.

Go easy on social media. Happy Eid-ul-Azha, everyone!