Which holud dancer are you?

Gaaye holud (if you refer to it as "body turmeric" or "haldi" I already hate you without even knowing you), in my opinion, is likely to have as many characters as the TV show Game of Thrones. It's obvious you and your friends will relate to this, so tag yourselves.

The Enthusiastic Choreographer: The most important person at the holud, probably more than the couple to-be-married. This is the person who has the honour of being the captain of the ship and is handed the responsibility of turning donkeys into horses. They're usually the best dancer of the pack. But, sometimes a professional outsider is brought in who mistakes a fun-loving gaaye holud to be the final audition round of a dance reality show.

The Bully: Basically, if you're unwanted, incompetent, annoying beyond belief, and a loud bonehead who has an opinion about everything, you are this person.

Star Performer: This is the diva – the only beacon of hope for a smashing holud performance amidst an otherwise dull crew. This person is treated no less than Deepika Padukone and has the authority to choose her own songs and get away with all her tantrums. You should aspire to be this person. I know I do.

Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls: This particular person is either in awe of the star performer or is plotting to steal their thunder. They can't bear the fact that someone else might just be getting more limelight than them, and thus would do every possible thing in their power to turn the tables. I am this person IRL.

The Hard-worker: They attend every rehearsal, are quite punctual, and try giving their best in every song they perform. Yet, they suck. Now what's baffling about this person is that even though they struggle to comprehend a simple step, somehow they don't run out of advice to give to others. Their good intentions save them from getting roasted obviously.

The Phoren Cousin: This person might pretend to not be fluent in their mother-tongue, but weirdly exhibit acute fluency in "how to be a manipulative cry baby and get away with it". So fluent that they are almost completely inconsiderate and indifferent towards what everyone else is doing, and whine in front of the whole family to be granted 5 solo performances just because. No, I am not imagining things; I am actually very fortunate to have such relatives.

Bridezilla/Groom Kong: They aren't technically dancers, but they'll still have that one special song on stage and are mostly responsible for what happens behind the scenes at a holud. From choosing the dancers, facing daily family brawls, never-ending costume fittings, and conducting the rehearsals successfully – they are always under immense pressure. Even though they wish they could shoot someone every 20 minutes, they are still compelled to utilise their hidden endorphin to act chirpy and not freak everyone out.

Did you think getting married was easy?

Rafidah Rahman is a teeny-tiny Hulk, she's always angry and she's always hungry. A cynical dreamer and a food enthusiast, she's your everyday entertainment. Correspond with her at rafidahrahman93@gmail.com  or https://web.facebook.com/rafidah.rahman.39