This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
Call me an ophthalmologist but I think your eyes are beautiful.
TAURUS
Rock music is destroying the youth, if destroy means save.
GEMINI
If you know what broth's fighting for...
CANCER
Croquembouche that, my enemies!
LEO
Kevin Parker wants to take off his shoes before going onstage and you have to facilitate that.
VIRGO
Either I'm wrong or you're wrong, but I think it's me. But I'm wrong.
LIBRA
Trust issues are not uncommon for supporters of Liverpool FC.
SCORPIO
What do you mean the sun is getting real low?
SAGITTARIUS
Old rabbits buy card.
CAPRICORN
My sixth sense says my other five senses have failed.
AQUARIUS
Antelopes look like they smell nice, but they don't.
PISCES
Nine seems like an odd number of lives, I think cats would like something even, like ten.
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