This Week's Horrorscope
ARIES
The cold can feel warm too.
TAURUS
If you don't like potato chips, try fish chips.
GEMINI
Twin Peaks is my favourite TV show.
CANCER
All of your fingers will one day run off together.
LEO
Don't laugh at jokes that are funny.
VIRGO
You should stare at your dog more often.
LIBRA
Only a lazy person would get lost in the sea.
SCORPIO
Don't touch your mom's spaghetti.
SAGITTARIUS
Don't look away from the moon.
CAPRICORN
Getting a ride home should be your first priority.
AQUARIUS
Don't buy fake angel wings, try fake crow wings instead.
PISCES
Riffs are the same as cliffs; they can both be pretty long.
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